Reflection 6: You Can Say Anything to Me as Long as You Say It in Love.

Your Consideration for My Feelings Will Help Me Face Hard Truths and Make It Easier for Us to Work Through Difficult Issues.
I enjoy it when you say nice things to me. I feast on every compliment. Much as I love those sweet words, I know there will be times when you must tell me hard truths. My friends may not always want to point out my missteps or potential problems, but because you love me like only a husband can, I know you will. When you have to tell me painful truths, I hope you'll always ease on the sting with a good dose of love. Give it to me straight, but give it to me kindly. Don't hold anything back, but remember to hold me. When you have to say something I won't want to hear, I promise to listen. But I'll hear it best if you say it gently.

'The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word unsaid.' ~Unknown

Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:14

Happy Birthday, Aunt Erica!

Joshua & I are thinking about Aunt Erica's 21st Birthday today - hope it's special!

He Really IS a GOOD Boy!

Today Joshua was wonderful. He woke up early and ate his breakfast like a champ. We played for awhile and then it was time to head to lunch with Aunt Alicia & Cousin Jordon, Aunt Gayle & Cousin Grant, Nonie, Great Grandma Stoltzfus and Mary Esmay, who I think would technically be Alicia's 4-year-old cousin. It took us over an hour to get to a place that should take about 15 minutes because of the bad car accident on 222 N this morning. Thankfully Bonnie had called me to warn of the road being closed, but that caused 272 N - the only alternative - to become a parking lot as well (later I found that 272 was undergoing contruction with a flagger trying to coordinate these massive amounts of traffic). I was becoming highly impatient but Joshua slept and cooed and was amazingly well behaved. Then I felt convicted - I wasn't in a car accident, I wasn't late for work, I really had nothing to be that upset about. I prayed for the people in the accident and thanked God that we were safe. While I was later than the other family members coming from different directions, it truly didn't matter and they were kind enough to wait for us.

Joshua was amazing during lunch. He ate his rice cereal and carrots, drank water, smiled at the company and even the waitresses. He was so well behaved, and I was so proud of him. I kept telling him what a good boy he was! I got home only to turn around and leave again not long thereafter to go sit with Jamie while mom had a doctor's appointment. (While she was gone I managed to ruin brownies by misreading how much water to put in and then broke their 13 x 9 pan when I dropped the bowl of mix on the second batch....UGH! I'm not THAT terrible in the kitchen...) Her doctor did recommend that she be given leave during this time due the stresses. The doctor also talked to her about hospice care and things, but mom couldn't talk too much, of course, when she got home and we made dinner together. Jamie didn't need anything, and we just hung out for the most part. It was an easy afternoon. Again, Joshua was amazing. He smiled at Grandpa Jamie and played with his own feet and his toys and told us amazing stories. We had a great time. Shawn joined us for dinner and Jen, Mike & the kids came over for the second batch of brownies. We got home too late for Shawn to mow our grass and me to clean our house (our original plans for the evening), but that's okay. Tomorrow's another day!

Here are some pictures of Joshua enjoying a toy my dad bought him the summer I was pregnant. We found it in our garage, and it's perfect right now! Thanks, Grandpa Georgia!

Reflection 5: We Are a Team, So the Best Way Out of Any Difficult Situation is Together.

If we always remember that we are a team no matter what, our relationship will be good no matter what.
Hard times have a way of dividing and conquering a couple, confusing them and spinning them around with blame and accusation until they lose sight of the real problem. Pretty soon instead of attacking the problem, they're attacking each other. I never want to fight against you. I want to be on your side and fight with you. When hard times hit, I want to stand next to you and help hit back. I know you want to do the same for me. Let's remember that God put us together and that together we're twice as strong. When bad things happen, let's never turn on each other, but turn back to back and fight them together.

'Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.' ~Helen Keller

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Reflection 3: I Appreciate & Count On Your Advice

I May Consult with my Friends, but You are My Most Trusted Advisor.
I like to talk to my girlfriends about my problems, but when it comes to my deepest needs and my biggest troubles, I turn to you, my other half, my lifetime partner. I know I can count on you to step back from any emotional landslide and look at my problem logically. You provide a fresh pair of eyes and a male perspective. Because you know me best and love me best and want what's best for me, I can trust you to help me sort through my options and make the right decision. You are my team captain, and you always have a game plan. I know you will give me good advice because you want us to both come out as winners.

'No gift is more precious than good advice.' ~Erasmus

The teaching of a wise person gives life. It is like a fountain that can save people from death. Proverbs 13:14

Homecoming

Jamie was released from the hospital on Friday, and he was happier than a kid on Christmas morning. All he begged everyone to do was to go home. So, they are installing handicap items in their house, and mom is taking off work to take care of him since he's not allowed to be alone (just like Bean!). I went over Friday afternoon to see if I could help in any way, and we bought them take out for dinner since they were both pretty tired. However, Jamie seemed in very good spirits. Both mom & Jamie commented on how much Joshua has grown. Although you don't necessarily recognize growth spurts in someone you're with every moment of the day, I've noticed just because none of his clothing fits. Everything is much too short, even some of the 9 month outfits we have. So, I'm going to need to get some 12 month clothing. Who would have ever thought our little 3 lb 4 oz Bean would grow so fast?He's been keeping us awake at night again. He was doing so well for a while that this has thrown us for a loop. But, I think once the season completely changes (none of this hot when we go to bed and freezing when we wake up) things will get back to normal. I helped lead worship for the first time in over eight months, and I think it went pretty well - Praise God! During practice, I heard Joshua crying which broke my heart (Shawn was with him) but he fell asleep just before the service started. Now we sit in what I'll call "the very small kids" section of church, where there are other parents who understand when a baby likes to talk quietly in the middle of the sermon, etc. The kids are so cute! And I'm just glad we're able to go to church again. I was blessed by a woman who came up to me and gave me some pictures of Joshua's dedication that she had taken. How sweet! I hadn't really gotten any of him with my camera while we were up front, and she was at a great angle and took one with the three of us up there together.

Saturday we went and picked up a car for Shawn since the Rodeo is pretty well done. Later that afternoon, I went to David & Brian's house with Leslie & Donna to celebrate Cinco de Mayo since the guys cooked for us. It was so nice to see these former co-workers again in a more pleasant place than work. Meanwhile Shawn popped in at Nonie & Poppy's house with Joshua and saw Jordon for a little bit. We also went to Toys R Us to buy Joshua some toys that will encourage him to sit up as he plays. I can't believe how expensive toys are! I MUST hit some yard sales this summer since we don't have anything fun for the Bean to play with, and the physical therapist even noted that we should have more bigger plastic toys. :) My dad has been buying things in GA for him, but we probably won't see him until July...so, we'll have to see what we can find in the meantime.

Reflection 2: You Are My Hero

No Hero, Real or Imagined, Can Compare to a Good Husband
Heroes can be found everywhere - running across the big screen in a movie theater, fighting their way through the covers of a history book or novel, even being lauded in the newspaper. You are the unsung opener of difficult jars, the fixer of squeaky stairs, and the killer of spiders. You'll leave a warm bed in the middle of the night to investigate because I heard a strange noise. You soldier on at your job to make sure I am taken care of. You are my protector, lover, and friend, someone I look to in times of trouble. Lois Lane can keep her Superman. You are all I need.

'There, under the shadow of a man's strength, a woman finds rest.' ~John Elredge

My beloved is all radiant and ruddy, distinguised among ten thousand. Song of Solomon 5:10

To My Amazing Husband, Shawn

Now that we're done with the fruit of the spirit, I thought I'd focus a portion of my blog to Shawn, especially since next Saturday is his birthday. For our anniversary, I bought him a book "from a Wife's Heart to her Husband: 50 Reflections on Living Well." I bought it because as I opened its pages and read, I saw a beautiful expression of exactly how I feel about the amazing man of God I married. So, I'll share some excerpts from time to time to honor him and express how much I appreciate the true gift from God he is to me.

Reflection 1
You, my dear husband, are one of a kind, a man among men. You are the most important person in the world to me. Your love is my greatest possession. I value your good opinion of me more than anyone else's. Your success makes me happy, and I can't be content unless you are content. I hope as you read this, you will see my love. Being your wife is a joy for me, and you make traveling life's road an interesting journey. I want you to know that if I had to do it all over again, I'd still choose you over any other man. I also hope that as you read this, you'll realize what an important part you play, not only in my life, but also in the lives of many people. You hold an important spot in the world, a spot reserved specially for you by God.

'Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house.' ~Mother Theresa

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7

Juicy Fruit of the Spirit #9: Self Control

Oh, if there is one thing I lack and continually ask God for, it's self-control. Everything we pray for and worry about seems to stem back to self-control, be it finances, being healthy, prioritizing our time, ridding our lives of sin, etc. Please pray today that Joshua (and me, too!) would demonstrate self-control throughout his life by the grace of the Holy Spirit living in him. In the Bible, we are told to be self-controlled so we can pray and not fall into temptation.

1 Peter 4:7
The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.

1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

In addition, we are told to be self-controlled and set a good example.

Titus 2:4-8
Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Lastly, I was researching self-control today and how to overcome the spiritual battles we face in life. I highly enjoyed this excerpt from one of Max Lucado's (my favorite author!) devotionals, especially the last one. It spoke to me of not ever taking the extraordinary gifts I've been given - like Shawn, Joshua & our families - for granted...hope you enjoy it! Please pray that Joshua would have self-control and grow up to learn the wisdom found in the Bible.

http://www.maxlucado.com/pdf/win.battles.pdf

Amazing Bean, Amazing Day

Yesterday's physical therapy appointment went really well. Laura, the gal from Schreiber, said she saw big signs of improvement from two weeks ago. Joshua is propping himself up on his forearms, rolling both ways, is reaching out to rake in toys while balancing on the other arm, and even sat up on his own completely unassisted for over 30 seconds. He also loves his toes, too. Hooray for making progress, buddy!

This morning, I kept hearing the sound of engines out my window as I was working (Joshua was napping at the time but quickly woke up due to the noise). I looked out and saw what seemed like hundreds of children out my front window, fire trucks and about a dozen parents, along with a traffic jam on our little street. After changing Joshua's diaper, I slipped on flip-flops (they're even tight with how swollen my foot still is) and took him outside to ask the two neighbors I actually know what was going on. While I didn't want to add to the chaos, I figured that if a house close to mine was on fire, Bean & I should plan on getting away quickly. Instead, I was told that for the umpteenth time, there was a smell of gas at the elementary school (which is right behind our house). Parents were trying to drop off their little ones and couldn't (thus the traffic jam) and others had already dropped off their kids, who were currently running around everywhere with minimal supervision. One neighbor I recognize but don't know said this was not a good situation because it would be an easy way to lose a child. After Joshua finished smiling at everyone and hearing compliments about how wonderful he is, we went back inside even though it is the most gorgeous day I think I've ever seen. We both ate breakfast and let things calm down outside.

I was singing to Joshua this morning, and he loved it. I paused in the middle of a measure to see what he would do...he started to sing! Not on key and not with words, but he looked at me as if to say, "keep going, momma!" He loves to grab lips and noses, so I was telling him what each thing was on your face, and he looked like he was studying so intently. I remember that look from Jordon when he was learning something new. Then, when he was on the changing table (which he LOVES to roll to his belly in the middle of changing now), he was looking at the wallpaper. I pointed to the frog and said 'frog' and to the birds and said 'birdie' and then to the turtle and said 'turtle' and at that moment he started saying 'twl twl twl' and then I pointed back to the frog and said 'froggies go ribbit ribbit' and he said 'raba raba raba'. While I know he's too young to be really talking yet, his babble often sounds like real words to me. He's soooo cute when he's babbling, too. I LOVE it! He looks like he's telling you one of the greatest stories ever told.

We found the digital camera, so I called Linda the church secretary to tell her we found it, and she went on and on about how she thinks children can see their angels and how Joshua showed the peace and glory of God during his dedication. She said she turned around to Lauren, one of our church's intercessors, when he squeeled with joy and said, 'you know what that's all about - he received that blessing!' She wasn't the first person to tell us that's what she saw. We are so blessed by our little Bean, even when he tries our patience...

Last night, poor Shawn was thrown up on three times (Joshua managed to get our sheets, too) and then went to change his diaper after Joshua's infamous grunting and got peed on. Poor guy! I don't think Daddy was having a good day to begin with, so this was kind of an unfortunate bummer. However, Joshua slept through the night, so hopefully today was better for Shawn. Joshua slept a good bit today, too. It's so peaceful with all the windows & fresh breeze blowing...I'm hoping that's why and that he's not getting sick. I also think he's teething again and look for those top two chompers to come in any day now.

Tonight I'm making pork tenderloins for dinner and have to go start them soon to be ready for when Shawn gets home...

Singing Happy Birthday

Yesterday I baked a spice cake for Jamie for his birthday, and Shawn, Joshua & I, along with Jen, Mike, Grace, Faith & Emma went into the hospital to celebrate (my other sister Becky went in earlier since her husband was working, so she declined joining us). We weren't sure what to get Jamie this year, but mom said his sunglasses were pretty beat up and she's been trying to help him get outside by taking him for walks in his wheel chair. So, sunglasses it was! We had a nice time, and Jamie seemed in good spirits. It sounds like there were a lot of people who visited throughout the day.

Other than that, Joshua & I have been playing while we have the opportunity and I've been writing, writing, writing. I'm so glad that my Millersville semester is done next week. While I'll miss the paycheck, I'm looking forward to the break this summer. This afternoon, Joshua has his third physical therapy appointment. Then, I promised the worship leader at church that I would play this Sunday since she's on vacation, so tonight I'm planning on going to worship practice for the first time since I gave birth.

Here are a few pictures from Joshua's dedication that my mom took. Unfortunately, I can't find my camera, so I'll see if I left it at church tonight, and if it's not there...well, I'm just hoping it's there...

Dedicated to God

Yesterday Joshua's dedication went really well. He was calm while we were up front, smiled at Pastor Mark and when he said AMEN! Joshua squeeled with delight, to everyone else's amusement. We gave a brief testimony, and the family members present joined us up front. My mom came (Jamie, of course, had to stay in the hospital), her sister Karen who was here visiting my mom & Jamie, my sisters & their families, all of Shawn's siblings & both sets of parents on his side. Grandpa Georgia called in the morning to tell us he was praying for Joshua, and my friend Suz sent a beautiful card and savings bond (thanks so much!).

Afterward we invited everyone back to our house for pizza, and we ended up eating outside because the weather was simply gorgeous. Grandma & Grandpa Ginder came over after everyone else had left, and we had a nice visit with them and ended up going out for supper.

On Thursday, believe it or not, I broke a toe as the toe went one way and my foot went another when I caught the edge of the door. (Why, God, is this happening? What am I to learn?) I had a doctor's appointment, and have to go back in for a follow-up because if it isn't healing properly, he said they might have to pin it because of the extent of the break, which is a thought that makes me want to vomit. That night, Erica, Missy & Jordon were here, which was a lot of fun. Erica made dinner, and we all played with Joshua's toys, which Jordon loved. Erica came over Friday afternoon to give me a break with the Bean, too, which was so sweet. Shawn & I went to visit Jamie in the hospital and then went on a date to Characters, a very nice restaurant in Lancaster city that I would highly recommend. We had an amazing time, and so did Joshua. When we came home, he was curled up with Aunt Erica sound asleep as she was watching TV.

I think Joshua will talk any day now. He babbles all the time and mimmicks what we're saying to a certain extent. He says dadada, mamamam, bababa, waabaawaabaa, etc. He also makes sounds like "I woe you" that sounds just like I love you to us. He's still shrieking, though. It's not terrible, but it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. He's also teething again, complete with drool and knawing. I keep looking for the top two front teeth that accompany the bottom two he's got to come in any day now. He's so adorable and grinning at me from his bouncy seat right now. I love how he can play more now. He's the best Bean in the world! :) :) :)

Weeping Wednesday

The results are back, even though there are more questions to be answered. Jamie has brain cancer, stage 3. Due to the location of the tumors, an operation is not possible. They are discussing radiation and/or chemo, but the surgeon says this is not a cure, it simply buys a little more time. How much time with or without it is unknown, as this news was hard enough for the two of them to take, in and of itself. I spoke with mom briefly tonight, but she was in no mood to talk. She said both of them were weeping at the news and quite heartbroken. I'm praying for no suffering for either one of them. I'm not sure what else to pray...

Mellow Monday

Jamie's biopsy seemed to go well. A friend of my mom's from the post office worked for her for an hour before the surgery (it was a blessing that he was to go in over lunchtime) and another friend came later that afternoon so she could leave early. She worked Saturday and part of this morning, but that same friend got her office covered for today, and her clerk comes back tomorrow. If I knew who this friend was, I think I'd go give her a big hug.

Friday night Shawn & I went grocery shopping for things mom could take with her to the hospital, like fruit, individually wrapped carrot packs, granola bars, yogurt, stuff to make sandwiches, bottles of water & juice, etc. She kept saying how she hated to leave the room (even to run to the cafeteria) because she never knows when the doctor will come in with an update or to do more tests, so I thought this was one way we could bless her since she would never ask for help. Saturday, Shawn mowed her yard while I cleaned her house & did her laundry as the Bean played. Gabby, her cat, was glad to see us although she wasn't too sure about Joshua's shrieking. We gave Joshua a bath after we came home, and I had to take a picture of his hair...so cute!
Yesterday we went to church and Joshua was good the entire time. He stayed awake during worship & slept during the sermon. There's a family with some of the cutest kids I've ever seen that sat behind us, and their 2-year-old snores when he sleeps. Between having the cuddlebug on me sleeping, hearing this rhythmic breathing behind me & the warmth of the church, I had a hard time keeping my own eyes open, even with the good sermon. We met mom for lunch @ the hospital afterward & said a quick hi to Jamie since we could only go back one at a time since he's in the neuro-something unit. He looks good for having the biopsy but mom said he's weaker than ever, with his entire arm limp & lifeless along with his one leg. Hopefully that gets better and is only a result of the biopsy.

When we came home, Shawn mowed our sky-high grass as I pulled some weeds with the Bean in the bumbo seat outside. Mom stopped over while Jamie took a nap since we're only about five minutes from the hospital. Last night I played with Joshua as Shawn worked on our computer. Here is a video of him laughing @ Daddy. He loves to play with his toes & chew on his socks now, too. He's been really great... well, until last night. He's been sleeping through the night like an angel, but right before bed Shawn thought it was too hot upstairs & turned on our central A/C. Joshua woke up almost every hour. I layered him up, changed his diaper, added socks, and nothing suited him unless I was holding him. I didn't feed him, but he finally got back to sleep around 5 a.m. No more cold A/C for him! I feel bad for the little guy since he seemed chilly, but I was also beat.


This morning after breakfast he played a little while and now he's napping as I'm doing laundry, dishes, putting supper in the crockpot, etc. I should probably nap myself, but I have lots of school work & writing to do, and I'm planning on going into the hospital a little later. I'm just glad he's not cranky today and quite mellow.

I love my Bean! And my husband!

Shawn & Joshua have been so sweet during this time. I wonder if the Bean will have a sensitive spirit like his daddy. Shawn has helped with the baby, made a very tasty dinner last night after I got home from class & the hospital, and has allowed me to talk to him about everything. I couldn't ask for a better husband, or a cuter son.

Waiting

The neurosurgeon told mom & Jamie that they scheduled the biopsy for today at noon. Jamie does NOT have to be awake during any of it (praise God since that sounds awful!). Unfortunately, mom's clerk is off today, tomorrow & Monday, so mom has to work. I called her this morning, and she was crying. Please pray for them both.

Tuesday morning I took Joshua to 'LIFT' at Maple Grove with my sister and her kids. It's a Bible study for women, and I think just about everyone there has kiddos. I'm trying to take the Bean out more so he's not overwhelmed at his upcoming dedication, which takes place Sunday April 29th, one day before Jamie's 57th birthday. The theme of this particular Bible Study was God's faithfulness. And, most of the women shared stories of God's faithfulness from help with finances to health to getting pregnant after being declared barren. In the middle of this time, I heard Joshua begin to grunt, then came the red faces and pushing sounds. Everyone giggled. He took the smell of the room to a whole new level, and I was embarassed. But, there were half a dozen other kids about his age in the group, so I just quickly wisked him away to change him, figuring probably everyone in the room had had a similar experience at one point or another. Too bad Shawn's Great Aunt Mildred & Anna weren't there. I was glad I went - God is faithful.

I found out last night that the little girl Virginia that I had been praying for 'went to be with Jesus.' It saddens me to think that something like a broken arm in a 3rd world country can cost you your life, but then I rejoice that she's not suffering and is dancing on the streets of gold with our Lord. God is still faithful, even if the outcome is not what we expect. And, it makes me all the more grateful to live in Lancaster County, PA where the healthcare is unbelievably good.

Here are some pictures of Joshua in the outfit Aunt Missy had for him in his Easter basket (thanks so much!).

We're calmly waiting for the report from today's biopsy...please pray God's grace over the whole situation & family. I called my dad for sympathy for my finger (my sister's husband saw it last night & said he's never seen a smooshed finger look so bad, which freaked me out a little bit) and just told him what was going on. He was actually very comforting, even from another state.

Seven Months Old & Sadness

Joshua turned seven months old yesterday. In the morning we went to the hospital to visit Jamie & Mom, and my sister Becky rode along with us. Jamie's mom was there, along with his brother, when we got there. The doctor came in & said he has two masses on his brain, and they are running an ungodly amount of tests to see where "they" are coming from, i.e. cancer. After the doctor left, Jamie's mom announced she had brought her Bible and she wanted to read. She said that we're told to give thanks & praise in all circumstances, so she read a Psalm that praised God. She then prayed for Jamie, and they embraced. There wasn't a dry eye in the room, except Joshua, who was drooling instead.We left shortly thereafter, and when I put the stroller in the back of the SUV, I didn't realize that I had released the glass top half of the door with the entire door to the trunk itself. Thus, when I shut it, the top half of the door smashed my finger as it closed. It's black, swollen & hurts worse than I could have ever imagined. I thought part of my finger was in the trunk. Thus, Joshua spent part of the afternoon at my sister Jen's. The finger's so swollen, I'm having a heck of a time with the finger splint we bought @ CVS. And, typing one-handed stinks....

Last night, Shawn, Joshua & I took dinner into my mom, who looked exhausted (whereas Jamie looks better than he has in a little while, but he has a look of fear, too). Jamie's daghter was there, too. They told us he gets a needle biopsy today, where the drill into his skull while he's awake. This will confirm (or not) cancer. They didn't want to operate at this point because of the location. Jamie's weakness is coming from the swelling on the brain around these two masses. Besides the testing, they have him on lots of medicine for swelling & to prevent seizures.

Between my finger & all this surprising news (he's quite young - late 50's - and VERY healthy) & the overwhelming sadness of my mom, I bawled most of the day yesterday and am even teary as I type. Please pray for Jamie - for healing & for peace - and my mom for peace, comfort & strength. I'm also praying that Joshua is good today since I can barely tolerate using my hand. We rejoice over Joshua's 7 month birthday, and I am trying to give thanks & praise in all circumstances....

Emotion-filled Day

Today was quite a day. I found it ironic that I've been praying for a little girl named Virginia and then all these shootings happen at Virginia Tech. My heart goes out to them as I think about teaching at a University and just how scary that must have been. I'm thankful for each day of my life.

I also received a call from my mom this morning from the Emergency Room. Jamie was being admitted into the hospital. He's been having symptoms of a stroke, but the doctors weren't giving them any solid reports. Then, today he couldn't use his hands to button his shirt. When they called the family doctor, he said take him to the ER. So, they are waiting for some test results. They didn't find bleeding on the brain, but they did see "spots" and he is to go for an MRI. My thoughts and prayers are with him tonight as he spends the night in the hospital in the stroke unit. Mom said that most of the people where he's at seem to be over 90 and he seems pretty worried. I can't imagine what that must feel like, for either one of them. Please pray for him as well.

This morning I finally got to meet up with Kristen & Elliott and Julie & Jude. It was so nice to see them!!! (Happy birthday, Kristen!) While their sons were adorable, Joshua was a crabby-apple. He didn't get a morning nap, and I think between church and the Easter gathering yesterday, another outing today was over the top for him. He may have been too warm, too, since I dressed him for the windy weather and wasn't thinking of how warm it would be inside. It's so hard to tell at this stage when they can't talk. While I had taken my camera to get a picture of them together, Joshua was not smiling to get one. He was happier when we got home for a little while but then he was crying again tonight and he keeps biting the spoon that I'm feeding him with and the nipples on his bottles - I'd say those teeth might be bugging him big time. Poor little guy!

So, how did I deal with all this emotional chaos? I cleaned and cleaned and scrubbed and cleaned. I swept and mopped my floors, bleached my kitchen counters and backsplash, wiped down my dishwasher and fridge, scrubbed my bathtub, cleaned all three bathroom sinks & toilets. I have clothes washing in the washer and dishes in the dishwasher. I still need to vaccuum, but I realized that it was time for Joshua to eat again and it was close to 9 p.m. and I hadn't made anything for Shawn for supper either as my two boys were enjoying each other's company after Daddy got out of work. So, they come first. Changing our sheets & washing walls & windows & conditioning our leather furniture can wait for another day.

I'm praying for the families of the students & professors of Virginia Tech & Grandpa Jamie tonight...along with Joshua's health & well-being and the prayer requests from before. Then, I'm heading off to sleep...tomorrow will be a new day! Praise God!

The Power of Prayer

Here is a picture of Joshua on his new bumbo seat (thanks for the idea, Julie!) - he loves it. Click here to see a video of him "talking." He is SO cute these days!!!!

Today we went to church, and Joshua did REALLY well. He slept through worship (typical since he LOVES the music) and woke up as soon as it got quiet. We had two gals from the youth in the row in front of us, and I knew that Joshua would keep talking to them if we stayed and of course they kept turning around to talk to him, so it wasn't working. So, he and I went down to the nursery. Since I didn't know how he'd do, I didn't leave him but stayed there and played while Daddy stayed and listened to the sermon. Joshua seemed to really like it. There were lots of cool new toys (I tried not to let him chew on them, though, since two of the kids seemed to have colds) and about half a dozen other kids around his age. He was tired of all the commotion around 11:50 am, which is the longest he's lasted so far. So, we left when he started screaming, but they were wrapping up upstairs, so we didn't miss that much.

We came home, ate a quick brunch (Shawn made omelets - yum!), and I fed Joshua rice cereal and butternut squash, both of which he devoured. Afterward, he wasn't that interested in his bottle. We left almost immediately for Nonie & Poppy's since it was the Good Family Easter Dinner this weekend. We all had a great time. Joshua got a little fussy, but I think it was overwhelming to have so many people at once. For the most part, though, I think he did well.

While we were there, Shawn's Aunt Shari gave us the biggest compliment. She said she was in a Bible study talking about Godly marriages and used Shawn and me as an example. I was touched. I remembered our pastor in our premarital counseling telling us that we would exemplify God's plan for a marraige, how Jesus loves the church and how the church is to honor and respect Him. I thought about it as we were driving home then - and I think why our marriage is so wonderful can be summed up in one word: prayer. I've prayed for Shawn long before I even knew he existed. When I was little, I always wanted to get married, and I prayed every night before going to bed that God would give me a partner in life. Shawn has everything I ever prayed for and so much more - he's the best gift from God I've ever received. It's not really the prayers that mattered as much as the one to whom I was praying - the one who has the ability to answer our prayers beyond our expectations. That's why I'm so thankful for all the people who prayed on behalf of Joshua - he's doing so well! God is faithful!

That's why I end this blog with two prayer requests that have stirred my heart within the past two days. The first is for a missionary couple from our church who work at a children's home in Roatan. Their 4-year-old little girl went into the hospital in Roatan for surgery on her broken arm, and something went very wrong with the anesthesia and she didn't breath for somewhere close to five minutes. She's been revived but is in a coma, and they are praying that she'll come out of the coma and not have any brain damage. Please join us in praying for her healing - her name is Virginia. The other prayer request is for Shawn's Aunt Stacy. I was talking to her tonight, and they said that doctors have diagnosed her with pulmonary hypertension. Her breathing difficulties have also caused problems with her heart, and they have given her three years to live. She's very sweet and very young, and she said that she's been feeling very discouraged through all this. I told her that there's nothing too difficult for God and that all things can be prayed away - look at Joshua! So, please pray for her complete healing and restoration. Also pray for her son Austin and her husband Jeff. I can't imagine how they must be feeling, either.

I'm so glad we serve a living God who has power and authority over death, darkness and all of eternity! He amazes me everyday, and I believe we've seen many miracles and will continue to see even more...

I've got my first tooth!!!

Mommy's way to excited to get a picture of my little mouth, but she discovered my first tooth today. I've been knawing on everything I can find, including her fingers when she lets me. Today, she felt the tooth that's in the bottom front. She gave me a big hug and told me what a big boy I am. Then she promptly called Daddy at work to tell him of this exciting occasion, and wrote the date in my baby book. I've decided to take a nap after all the excitement while she posts the good news on our website.

Juicy Fruit of the Spirit #8: Gentleness

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phillipians 4:4-6

When I think of gentleness, I picture a strong man displaying his tender heart to a child. I think of Shawn, who has strength and might but is so sweet-spirited and gentle. I think of Jesus, who could cast out demons and turn over tables in the church, showing compassion to the crowds and allowing children to come to him freely. I picture God as a mighty lion - similar to the Chronicles of Narnia - who is also soft & cuddly with those who love Him.

Please pray today that Joshua would grow to be strong physically, spiritually and emotionally. But, also pray that he would use his strength wisely and would always be gentle with others both in action and word. In 1 Peter 3:15, it says to always be prepared to give an answer for the reason that we have hope but to do so with gentleness and respect. Joshua - and us, too! - has been given many reasons for hope through Jesus, and the Bean has such a powerful testimony. I pray that when he speaks to others about God, he is so gentle and respectful that he wins hearts for Christ.

I hear of women who are abused by their spouses, which I can't even begin to imagine. I didn't grow up with a situation like that, and Shawn wouldn't hurt a fly. I pray that Joshua would take after his dad and show others that abuse is wrong. Most of all, I pray that even when life squeezes him, he would show the juicy fruit of gentleness. Thank you for taking the time to pray for Joshua today!

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:11

The last picture on this post reminds me of the NICU at Lancaster since it was posted on one of the walls "daddy holding premie." One of my sister's friends just gave birth to twins, two boys who are currently in the NICU. I also think of the five babies who were born to the unwed couple and pray for them as well. Blessings to you!

Friday, the 13th

Here's an unhappy Bean with a very happy Elmo!

I've finally found a vegetable that Joshua likes - carrots! He's been doing well with eating and now scarfs down his rice cereal like a pro. I don't make it so drippy anymore so it's not quite so messy and it's easier for him to eat. Yesterday, for the first time he grabbed the spoon coming toward his mouth and flung all the rice cereal on it onto himself. He was just curious what it felt like, I guess. He didn't do it again, so I wasn't concerned (other than cleaning him up and laughing with him at how goofy he was). Last night Daddy fed him while I was at class, and Shawn giggled that he kept trying to chew on the tray. He had been trying to chew on his bib for me earlier in the day. I think those teeth should come anytime now! Today was the first time he drank water and didn't act like I was trying to poison him - he seemed to enjoy it. He also loved the carrots - orange nose and all (from me cleaning up his chin and him putting his head down at the same time). There is nothing cuter than a Bean grinning from ear to ear with food on his nose. He ate quite a bit. Hooray!

He also rolled from his back to his belly when he was playing by himself for a few minutes while I was emailing a friend. He didn't roll back over, though, and started to say waabaa-waabaa, which started to sound to me like he meant roll me back over please, mom! We've had a pretty good day. The only thing he does now that's driving me insane is shrieking. He loves his high-pitched voice and loves to absolutely shriek, even when he's happy. He gets to a higher octave than I've ever heard before, and it makes me bonkers. He LOVES it! The spitting thrill is pretty well gone, but this new novelty is way worse. I'm hoping he finds something else soon that is new and exciting and leaves the high pitched voice for when he needs to use it.

He's also been playing with his feet. It's too cold to keep those toes out in the open - one of my students in class last night noted that it was colder on Easter this year than Christmas - but he does grab his feet, which I think is good enough. He's super! I just wish he could sit up on his own so we could play more. I guess in time, with exercise and with prayer.

Today we met Grandma for lunch, which was a nice treat. We're looking forward to a great weekend with Daddy!

He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

We had a beautiful weekend altogether. It was exactly what I needed. Shawn took over playing with Joshua and took care of him most of the weekend, and for the first time I felt like I had a much-needed break from care-taking and was able just to enjoy my son and play with him and hold him and not feel so overly responsible...I don't know if that makes sense or not, but it was like a vacation to me, even if it was just in my head. Friday Shawn & I went out to lunch together while Bonnie watched Joshua, which was a nice date. :) :) :) We also watched a movie about that guy...I forget his name already, maybe Vince Paparelli or something like that?...who was a regular Joe who ended up playing football for the Eagles. It was pretty good. Afterwards I peeled potatoes until I thought my fingers would fall off.

Then, Saturday morning we visited Shawn's grandparents, who seemed very happy to see us. Joshua's Great Grandma Kennel surprised me by getting on the floor and playing with the Bean, who absolutely loved her. She also said to us that she was watching some special on TV about the story of the resurrection and it just hit her how the disciples were sleeping while Jesus was praying & agonizing in the garden. She noted how many times we probably 'sleep' through what God is doing. I thought it was so neat that God brings fresh revelation to people even into their 80's. We visited with Great Grandpa Kennel, too, and he was so happy to see us. He was having a good day and asked how old & big Joshua is now and how Shawn's car was running, and he & Joshua grinned at each other ear-to-ear. It was heartbreaking when we left and he kept asking us why we had to go and why we were leaving. But, it was nice to see him, especially since he turns 93 years old today!

Then I went shopping with my mom & sister Becky while Shawn took the Bean home to nap. We actually had fun at the Outlets and had great success finding Easter outfits at the Dress Barn. Who would have thought they'd have such cute clothes? My mom & I had been all over the mall and couldn't find a single dress, so I'm glad we had better luck on Saturday. When we got home, I finished putting the potatoes together and the pineapple stuffing and putting the leaves in the table and setting it for dinner, etc. I was missing one ingredient, so Shawn ran to the store while I watched Joshua in the kitchen & continued to cook, and he surprised me when he came home with two beautiful plants. My husband, he's quite the man!

My friend Suzanne was in town, so she came over to see Joshua for a little bit, and then we went to Barnes & Nobles while Daddy had more quality time with Joshua. It was so great to see her as usual! She is one friend that we can always pick up where we left off. Saturday was great even though the neighborhood Easter egg hunt had been cancelled because of snow flurries and freezing cold conditions.

Finally, we had a great day Easter Sunday. While there were tons of adorable kids dressed up on Easter Sunday, none looked quite as handsome as Joshua. (Although, I'm COMPLETELY biased, of course!) But, unfortunately, even with looking cute, he didn't act so cute. I don't think he was feeling well at all yesterday. Our church doesn't pass the offering plate around, we have to go up front and put our tithes & offerings in a basket at the altar. I'm halfway up the aisle holding the Bean, and he vomits all over my nice new Easter dress and his new outfit. Ugh! I wasn't upset, though. I figure that this will be something I laugh about in years, right? He fell asleep in my arms until worship was over and the music ended which woke him. When the preaching started, he decided that he needed to talk, too. And, noticing that I wasn't as pleased as usual with his talking, he quickly started to cry which turned into screaming. So, I took him down to the nursery, but there were a half a dozen or more kids happily playing there, and I didn't feel right letting Joshua's crying ruin their good time. So, we left a little early from church. In all fairness to him, this is really the first he's been at church in a normal service and crowds swarmed over us to touch his hands and ask how he's doing and comment on how much he's grown and what a miracle baby he is. I think the entire scene overwhelmed him completely.

My family came for lunch, except Becky & Tim since Beck wasn't feeling well. I think the food turned out well (even though we had made far too much and will have leftovers for the next 10 years even after giving some to Jen's family and mom). My nieces' Easter dresses were adorable, but I missed getting a picture before they changed into play clothes for lunch. Afterward, they all hunted Easter eggs in our backyard even with the cold weather. After everyone left, Grandma & Grandpa Ginder and Aunt Erica came over and brought gifts, including clothing for the Bean, a froggy sippy cup, a frog in a tire swing, chocolate candy (for us), and all sorts of neato-burrito stuff (thanks so much!). They also brought hot chai for me & an ice-cold a java chip lite for Shawn (our favorite drinks) with them. It was nice to see them before they went home. Joshua had a bit of a belly ache when they were here, and napped immediately after they left. Poor little cranky guy hadn't been feeling good all day!

He's been much better today so far. These days he is personality plus. You know exactly when he's feeling good and bad. He's been all giggles this morning. Everything I say is a hoot to him today. I think he got everything out yesterday that was making him feel bad, so we're just enjoying each other's company today. Hope everyone had a Happy Easter!

GOOD FRIDAY

Joshua's got a new little outfit, including the cutest dress shoes, from Grandma for Easter that is so adorable. I hope it fits! He will look so dapper for church Sunday. We've also bought most of the groceries for Easter dinner since we're having my family over for lunch this year. We're having ham, "extra good" mashed potatoes, pineapple stuffing, deviled eggs, creamed corn, salads, rolls, and banana cream pie for dessert. I'm looking forward to it. I'm also hoping that it warms up so we can go to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt. Every year our neighborhood does various activities that we have yet to go to. But, I think it would be nice to go this year (even though Joshua's not big enough to hunt eggs yet, of course) because someday he'll be able to join in, and it would be nice to meet some of the people in our neighborhood. So, we'll see how the weather holds up.

Today we're also remembering Grandpa Good, who's funeral - a true celebration of his life - was on Good Friday a couple years ago. We prayed for Grandma Good this morning. We also hope to see Grandma & Grandpa Kennel this weekend since Monday is his birthday!

Pray for Mental Health

I just wrote a newsletter for Philhaven as one of my copy jobs, and there were several initiatives they are working on geared toward families. One is called "Shaping Your Family's Future" where you look at how your upbringing has shaped your personality, and then you intentionally decide what traits you want to pass on to your children. Another is family therapy, where children's behavior has become so out of hand that therapists go to the family's house to help. The list goes on and on. The more I wrote about it, the more I prayed fervantly for Joshua. While I'll come back to the two final "Juicy Fruits," please take today to pray today for Joshua's mental health. Pray that we will be good role models, pass onto him our positive traits, and that God would block anything negative. Pray for his self-esteem, his ability to make friends quickly & easily, and that he would know that he is fearfully & wonderfully made. Pray that he would know how special he is and just how much we love him. Pray that he would NEVER even think of committing suicide or hurting himself in any way as a teenager. Please pray that we would always provide a loving house and encouragement to him. Pray that he takes positive steps toward keeping his mental health in check like drinking water, exercising, sleeping at least eight hours and not stressing over the small things in life. And, pray that we would do the same to show him the way...thank you for your prayers! I haven't been able to stop thinking about these things since this copy job, so I appreciate you taking a moment to pray for Joshua & us today!

Easter Egg Coloring Fun

One tradition in my family is to decorate hardboiled eggs for Easter. I remember years of going to church, in beautiful new dresses & bonnets that my mom had sewn, with stained fingers. Easter morning my parents would hide the eggs we had colored all around the house (with a systematic list so they wouldn't forget where any were since that would STINK); and once we found them all, we each hunted for a basket filled with at least one gigantic chocolate bunny and lots of candy and treats. I think it was better than Halloween candy because mom & dad knew what we liked v. pot luck from the neighbors houses. :) It's a wonder when I was five years old and told my mom that I had a belly ache the morning after Easter that she took me to the hospital...but she was smart enough to do so and I had my appendix taken out lickety split! I'm afraid I would have said "no more candy and your belly will feel better!" but mom seemed to be in tune with us enough to know when we were truly sick. Anyway...I digress.

My sister invited me to her house to keep the egg decorating tradition alive. My nieces splished and splashed the colored water and cracked eggs on the table, and I laughed while Jen seemed rather annoyed (I would have probably felt differently if they were my kids, too, but when they're your nieces making a mess at your sister's house...you just giggle.) My mom held & fed Joshua, who didn't seem as interested in watching the scene as I had hoped. Some day he'll get to join in! (Shawn went to the funeral of a friend of his brother's, so he wasn't there.)

My youngest niece wanted to help some of the time...right up until she grabbed the one container of blue-died vinegar water and DRANK it. YUCK! The look on her face was priceless, and she was too quick for any of us to grab it before she could take a sip. Her mouth is stained blue...I'm guessing that's why my sister chose Tuesday instead of Saturday to color her eggs. I laughed and laughed. Ha! Poor Emma Joy! She then played with her plastic car toys & swing set (we were outside) while we finished the decorating fun. Good times! I asked my niece Grace why we celebrate Easter and she said, "Jesus died on the cross." Good job, kiddo! The best part is, though, that he ROSE! Hallelujah!

When we came home, I cut some daffodils (my mom always called them Easter Lillies) and brought them in for my desk. I've been doing a ton of copy jobs, and flowers brighten the room for the Bean - who's currently taking a quick nap - and me. I hope Daddy comes home soon! I miss him!