Seeking Him

One of the writing jobs I was recently given was a radio spot for JoyShop Ministries. I watched a DVD of the JoyShop and was truly inspired by Anita Keaggy's testimony. In it she says that the thief steals our life through unbelief, busyness, distractions and fear. Two quotes she said that went right alongside Stephen Jenks' teaching on time were: 1) “How many of you are busy? We are all very busy people, and I want you to know the enemy uses this the most in America. He keeps us so stinkin’ busy we think we don’t have time to spend with God.” and 2) “If you don’t think you have time for prayer and Bible study, Satan is winning the war.”

So, yesterday morning, I asked the Lord to show Joshua and I what passage He wanted us to see, and this is what we read before either of us had breakfast:

Matthew 24:23-51

The Arrival of the Son of Man 23-25"If anyone tries to flag you down, calling out, 'Here's the Messiah!' or points, 'There he is!' don't fall for it. Fake Messiahs and lying preachers are going to pop up everywhere. Their impressive credentials and dazzling performances will pull the wool over the eyes of even those who ought to know better. But I've given you fair warning.
26-28"So if they say, 'Run to the country and see him arrive!' or, 'Quick, get downtown, see him come!' don't give them the time of day. The Arrival of the Son of Man isn't something you go to see. He comes like swift lightning to you! Whenever you see crowds gathering, think of carrion vultures circling, moving in, hovering over a rotting carcass. You can be quite sure that it's not the living Son of Man pulling in those crowds.
29"Following those hard times, Sun will fade out, moon cloud over, Stars fall out of the sky, cosmic powers tremble.
30-31"Then, the Arrival of the Son of Man! It will fill the skies—no one will miss it. Unready people all over the world, outsiders to the splendor and power, will raise a huge lament as they watch the Son of Man blazing out of heaven. At that same moment, he'll dispatch his angels with a trumpet-blast summons, pulling in God's chosen from the four winds, from pole to pole.
32-35"Take a lesson from the fig tree. From the moment you notice its buds form, the merest hint of green, you know summer's just around the corner. So it is with you: When you see all these things, you'll know he's at the door. Don't take this lightly. I'm not just saying this for some future generation, but for all of you. This age continues until all these things take place. Sky and earth will wear out; my words won't wear out.
36"But the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven's angels, not even the Son. Only the Father knows.
37-39"The Arrival of the Son of Man will take place in times like Noah's. Before the great flood everyone was carrying on as usual, having a good time right up to the day Noah boarded the ark. They knew nothing—until the flood hit and swept everything away.
39-44"The Son of Man's Arrival will be like that: Two men will be working in the field—one will be taken, one left behind; two women will be grinding at the mill—one will be taken, one left behind. So stay awake, alert. You have no idea what day your Master will show up. But you do know this: You know that if the homeowner had known what time of night the burglar would arrive, he would have been there with his dogs to prevent the break-in. Be vigilant just like that. You have no idea when the Son of Man is going to show up.
45-47"Who here qualifies for the job of overseeing the kitchen? A person the Master can depend on to feed the workers on time each day. Someone the Master can drop in on unannounced and always find him doing his job. A God-blessed man or woman, I tell you. It won't be long before the Master will put this person in charge of the whole operation.
48-51"But if that person only looks out for himself, and the minute the Master is away does what he pleases—abusing the help and throwing drunken parties for his friends—the Master is going to show up when he least expects it and make hash of him. He'll end up in the dump with the hypocrites, out in the cold shivering, teeth chattering."

I saw new revelation in this passage that I've probably read dozens of times before (at least). I've always pictured the trumpet sounding and all of God's chosen having to run to Him. While I know this sounds goofy, I've thought to myself several times, what if I can't make the journey? What if I miss the sound? Re-reading this passage with a hunger to seek Him, I saw that NO ONE will miss it, that God dispatches angels and PULLS in His chosen, and that if it's up to us to get there, we've missed the boat. I also saw the part about not taking it lightly and living like He's coming back today. Would I say that to my husband if I thought Jesus were coming back that minute? Would I get up quicker at night with Joshua if I thought God might appear that very moment? I think we all take for granted the times that we are in. I know I've become more lax about my quiet time with God since having the baby. But, like Twila Paris' song reminds us, we need to "Watch and Pray...until we see Him coming...no one knows the hour or the day."

A cute Joshua story to round out this post: The night before last, Shawn and I were talking in bed and I was holding the baby in between us. All the sudden Joshua started to laugh so hard that he snorted. It was SO cute and SO funny that I couldn't stop laughing. What a ham!

Every Blessing You Pour Out I'll Turn Back to Praise!

Joshua was an amazing little boy this entire weekend. Whatever was causing his fussiness seemed to have passed. Friday I spent the day working on writing projects & preparing for this next extensive class. Meanwhile Joshua played and giggled and smiled the day away right next to me. He also slept quite a bit, which was great since I've been so busy. Then I went to the worship conference Friday night...and you know what the teaching was about? TIME! Stephen Jenks from Eagles Wings was the speaker that night and he said that God gave him a specific word right before he was about to preach. It felt like God was speaking directly to me.

The next day Shawn and I both went to the morning session and took Joshua with us. The person running the A/V equipment that morning is a volunteer firefighter and received an emergency call, so Shawn had to be there. Meanwhile, I was so desperate to worship more and soak in the presence of God that we decided to bundle up the Bean and take him with us for just the worship part. He LOVED the music. However, anytime it stopped, he would start to talk (and worse - he started grunting and going to the bathroom while the pastor was praying!!!). So, after worship was over, Shawn took him home. Shawn said that they had an amazing time together that afternoon - the baby was so happy! I was at the conference for most of the day on Saturday and came home early in the evening because I missed my little family. We watched the STUPIDIST movie of all time, "The Breakup" together that night as we fell asleep.

The three of us went to church again on Sunday because Shawn had to run the A/V equipment, but after worship was over, someone had moved our things and taken our seats, so we left since it was impractical to carry around the baby's carseat, diaper bag, etc. and look for new seating (what is wrong with people anyway? I'm glad we weren't visitors or we would have been completely turned off from church...).

Yesterday afternoon, my mom watched Joshua so Shawn and I could meet Ant, Mike Tangert, and Jen & Ryan for lunch. It was SO great to see them all! We had a wonderful time. I plowed through more work that afternoon while Joshua & Shawn napped, and I purposefully ended it last night and told Shawn that I wanted to spend time together. So, we ended our evening by playing Scrabble together. It was wonderful (especially because I beat him, and he always wins EVERYTHING!). Joshua slept through the night until 5:30 this morning, which was the perfect ending to a great weekend!

A couple of notes on Joshua's progress: he is sprouting new hair! Hallelujah! He also enjoyed a little bit of belly time this morning (normally he screams) and got onto his side but did not flip the whole way over. I don't think it will be long now. He's been playing more as we dangle things in front of him. Lastly, he looked at me and laughed when I asked him if it was still called toe jam when it's in between your fingers as I was cleaning his hands and trimming his nails. He acts like he understands what you're saying already even though I know he's too young. He's so adorable!

A Father's Heart

Last night, Shawn got home late after youth group was over. He spent a few minutes with Joshua while I got ready for bed...they gazed into each other's eyes and both smiled away. It was so cute! I told them that it was way past baby and daddy's bedtimes, so Shawn laid Joshua (who I had just fed and gotten changed for bed) in his crib. He came back into the room where I was quite upset. I asked Shawn what was wrong, and he said that Joshua looked up at him with his pouting lip sticking out and quivering, looking so sad that his daddy would leave him alone in his crib. I smiled...Joshua sure does have his father wrapped around his finger. That pouting face is SO cute! So, Shawn and I went back into the nursery, wrapped Joshua in a nice warm blanket, prayed for him that God would protect him overnight, gave him goodnight kisses from each one of us, and went off to bed. I think Shawn's soft heart toward his son is so precious, and it reminds me of how much our Father in heaven loves us so dearly!

Joshua was up several times throughout the night. I woke up this morning feeling much like a zombie, but after my shower I headed downstairs and the snow outside looked so refreshing...I brought Joshua down to the bay window to show him another moment of God's glory. The above picture is what it looked like outside our front window. I decided that after Joshua scarfed down his breakfast, I was going to make Shawn supper since I have class tonight and won't be home to take care of him. Only, right then the phone rang. I had missed Joshua's RSV vaccine appointment! I blame it on no sleep, but I truly felt like an idiot. I rushed right over there since they said that was okay. He now weighs a whopping 14 lbs even! He has been such a good little boy all day...all except throwing up on himself and me after I had gotten ready for school and put a new outfit on him. Ugh! He can't help it, though, I know.

Here is a picture of him napping this afternoon. During that time, I got back to making Shawn's dinner...shake 'n bake chicken (yes, I kept saying that commercial phrase to Joshua this afternoon - poor little guy!), chicken-flavored Lipton noodles, and corn. I figured Shawn likes all of those things. There's also leftover pork & potatoes for him to eat if he doesn't care for it, so I think he should be set with watching the baby while I'm at class and hopefully church afterward.

Last night Grandma came over and kept me and Joshua company for a little while during the time Shawn was at church. It's always nice to see her. Right now I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with work projects, school, and caring for my little boy! But, I'm grateful for the opportunity to make money and stay home, so I'm trying to take everything one step at a time. I think a little sleep will do a world of good for my perspective.

Two more notes: 1) Joshua is doing quite well at sucking his thumb these days. He loves it! 2) Shawn downloaded the new Chris Tomlin song "Made to Worship" that says "You and I were made to worship, you and I were called to love, you and I are forgiven and free. You and I embrace surrender, you and I choose to believe, you and I will see...we were meant to be." He's been listening to it quite a bit, and it warms my heart to think that he cares for me so much and cares for our son. I couldn't ask for a better husband or daddy! I'm glad Joshua looks like him...I've helped create a "mini" version of my best friend. :) :) :)

A Busy Week

I started classes this past Thursday and am busily preparing for them while continuing to watch Joshua at home during the day. I'm also taking more writing jobs, for which I am grateful. This makes for a very busy schedule because I want Joshua and Shawn to know that they are my first priority.

On Friday morning, I took Joshua for his 4-month well-baby check-up. The doctor said that he should be swinging at things more than he is and started to grasp things to put in his mouth. He just started playing more with the items on his mobile, and every once in awhile if I dangle something in front of him, he will try to swing at it. However, he just doesn't seem really interested in that yet. Shawn's mom said that he wasn't really motivated by toys either when he was little. The doctor did say that Joshua seems quite intelligent with his early "talking" and laughing and blowing bubbles. She noted that kids who talk later usually struggle in school but kids who are slow mobility-wise usually end up just fine. So, Joshua got a great report overall! We're trying to give him more belly time so that he gets stronger, but he gets so frustrated and starts to cry fiercely. The doctor said that Joshua's gas is not related to his digestive system or the Neosure (which he will continue to consume until he's 9 months old). She thinks that when he struggles to catch his breath (which happens pretty often throughout the day, especially if he gets upset at all), that he puts air into his belly since he doesn't have the reserve that normal kids would have. That air escapes through him tooting. So, even though it makes him terribly uncomfortable and more upset, there's really nothing we can do at this point.

The baby has been a little fussier than normal the past few days, but "momma said there'd be days like this..." He is such a cute little boy! This week is the worship conference at my church. I would really like to be able to go, but I don't think it's wise to take Joshua out since the doctor strongly stressed this was not a good idea until April at least. So, I keep praying that I'll be able to find a way to get there for at least some of it. When Shawn doesn't have to run the A/V equipment, I'll be there!

Happy Four Month Birthday to Me!

Joshua's profile at four months old - he's too cute!

Joshua sits like a big boy!

Joshua picking lint off his pants.

Joshua finally smiles for me today!

My precious little Bean! How big he has grown in the past four months!

Searching for My Thumb

On Tuesday, Aunt Missy & Grandma Ginder came over to visit me and brought mommy lunch. I've been trying to suck my thumb, but I keep going for the whole fist instead, which just doesn't seem to fit the way I think it should. I love sucking on my fingers, but I can't seem to get one in at a time. Then, when they were here, I finally found my thumb to suck on! What delight! What joy! I lost it, so I tried again. This time...I missed and my thumb went right up my nose!!!

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

We had a very nice relaxing weekend for a change. My sister was away at the cabin this weekend, so my mom offered to watch Joshua for a little while on Friday night so Shawn and I could go on a date. It was wonderful! I am so blessed to have my parents and Shawn for a husband!

Saturday morning, mom and I went grocery shopping and bought not only food for our house but also enough that we could make Jess & Tim and Jen & Ryan meals. I used the Ginder recipe for chicken noodle casserole, and mom stayed and helped. Cooking isn't nearly as bad when you have company! We even made one for us for dinner that night. I thought it was delicious. Hopefully their families enjoyed it, too.

Shawn & Joshua had bonding time this weekend, too, which gave them together time and me a little break. I love my little boy, but it's nice to see him respond well to Shawn, too! Joshua seems to be calmed down the most when I sit down and cup my legs to where my feet touch, and his head rests on my feet and his body is in between my legs. I sang the song "Shake a friend's hand, shake a hand next to ya, shake a friend's hand....and sing...sing Hal-la-la-la-lelujah!" with lots of different lyrics in it, and he absolutely LOVED it. Here's a picture of Shawn feeding Joshua while watching the Saints beat the Eagles.

Grandma Ginder stopped in yesterday on her way through and brought lots of neat presents for the baby, including a sailor outfit and a fork and spoon with Joshua's name on them, a Redskins hat that lights up for Shawn, and a frog with a bee on its nose for me. It was nice to visit with her, and Joshua fell asleep on her lap. She was telling us of things she has been going through and read two passages in Malachi to us that I've been thinking about ever since. I've always read the one, but I had never really thought about the other in the context she said. It was quite interesting!

Last night I read in the baby book that you should talk WITH your baby instead of AT your baby, giving him time to respond if you ask a question. So, this morning I asked Joshua if he knew that it was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day today. His response? He threw up his legs and arms, smiling and squeeling with delight! I guess the baby is into civil rights! Ha ha ha ha! I also told him it was Uncle Kevin's birthday, but the same reaction was not given (sorry, Kevin!). Joshua is such a good little boy! I couldn't ask for a better son!

Happy 1/11!!!

The number 111 has had special meaning to me for many years, so on this 1/11 day, Joshua and I celebrated by seeing Grandma on her lunchbreak and then eating with daddy on his. Joshua even wore his "Love is a Blessing" outfit today (thanks for the outfit loan, cousin Jordon!) to mark the occasion. And, he gave me a great present last night...he slept through the night! Well, sort of. He woke up at 4 a.m. and was fussy, so I put formula in a bottle but before I got to warm it, he had already fallen back to sleep. So, I put it in the fridge and went back to bed. Only...I couldn't sleep. I kept waiting for him to stir, to want food, to need attention. And, I finally woke him up when Shawn got up to get ready for work. How long can babies go without eating, I wonder? So, I got less sleep because I've been up since 4, but that's my fault, not Joshua's. He did so well! I'm so proud of him. We'll see if this is the mark of a new trend...I can only hope. He's been feeling much better today, too. Hooray! Tonight we are celebrating cousin Faith's birthday...the big 3! How quickly time flies.

Sleeping Beauties

Yesterday after Shawn got home, we took turns going to the gym. When Shawn returned, we made dinner together while Joshua sat in his swing in the kitchen. Afterward, Shawn watched the baby while I cleaned up. I came upstairs to find my boys asleep - both worn out from a busy day. I must admit, I was beat too. But, this was a picture I couldn't pass up taking.

Poor Joshua has had a belly ache today. I wish I could take away his pain! But, more than mylecon and some prayers, there's not much more I can do than to hold and console him. Thus, I let Shawn go to youth group while I stayed home since I thought that would be a nicer experience for him.

On a brighter note, I got to see my nieces for a little bit today. My sister called and asked if I could watch the two older girls who are doing well while she took the little one to the doctor's office. Emma, the youngest, was diagnosed with a sinus infection, which is not contagious (thankfully). Grace and Faith were extremely well-behaved here and showed me their new toys they got for Christmas and were upset when they had to leave because we hadn't had the chance to color together yet when mommy came back so quickly. It's nice that the pediatrician is two minutes from my house. Joshua was enthralled with watching them, and both girls told me the minute they walked in the door that mommy had told them they were not allowed to touch Joshua, which is just as well. It will be interesting to see what their new baby will be like! Grace keeps saying she wants a boy baby this time. We shall see!

Here is a little football outfit that Shawn's cousins Rob & Juanita bought for Joshua when he was born. I think he looks like a linebacker in it. It will be interesting to see if the pediatrician keeps Joshua on this higher calorie formula or switches him when we go for his four month check up next week!

More Movement

On Friday night, my former co-workers came over to our house, since we were the first stop on the Christmas progressive meal. We served h'ors dvoures and everyone got a quick tour of our home. We left from here (while Grandma watched Joshua) and had french onion soup and mad-lib entertainment at Penny's, jello salad with fruit at Kelley's, chicken & potatoes & broccoli at Beth's, and chocolate raspberry cake at Heidi's. It was a nice evening out. The Christmas decorations officially came down over the weekend (since all the MM gang agreed to keep them up long enough for everyone to see them). Shawn were definitely tired of them by now - it's nice to see them come out and nice to see them be put away.

Joshua's sleeping longer and longer in between feedings overnight. It's wonderful! I typically only get up once or twice during my sleep time now. I'm sure soon enough we'll round the corner on him sleeping through the entire night. I think my body is adjusting to it now, too, because I truly am minding less and less when I have to wake up. I fed him even on the weekend so Shawn could get more rest since he's been doing a lot at work with the year-end inventory.

Last night before bed, I was dangling a froggy "peek-a-boo pal" in front of Joshua (well, a little off to the side since the baby book says that babies react better when toys are off to the side) and he took a swing at it! His fist was closed when we started playing, so it looked like he was punching the toy. This is the first time he even acted interested in 'touching' any toys, so we were rejoicing over this new act! However, Shawn and I agreed that it looked a little bit like Joshua was giving the frog a beating. Ha! He's more attentive on his birdie mat, too, and today he started kicking at the side arches when laid in the right position. The toy shuts off if it thinks it's not being used, and the only way to restart it is to have movement (giving it a tap somewhere to say "we're still here.") So, it's interesting to watch Joshua give it a kick when the birdie stops singing and moving and playing music. He seems so smart to me to figure this out already! And, I'm so glad to see him start kicking and moving his hands near toys! Hooray for Joshua!

Laugh Out Loud Funny!

Yesterday, Joshua laughed for the first time. I was holding him and talking to him in the morning and then I made a strange noise with my tongue and goofy face to see what he would do...you guessed it! He had a real belly laugh...heh heh heh heh. I wanted to make sure that's what it was, so I repeated the look and sound and sure enough! He did it again. It was so adorable that it made me laugh, too.

Joshua also loves his new play mat from Grandma. He just stares at that birdie moving and making noises, but he seems content while doing it.

Yesterday Nonie watched him so I could go to the dentist for my semi-annual check-up and cleaning. No cavaties or problems - hooray! Then I went to the gym since she was okay with continuing to watch him. She told me that she was singing to him and he started to make sounds like he was trying to sing along. I do think he likes music...wonder where he gets it from? Ha!

Here are some pictures from this morning. I love this outfit that Joshua's Aunt Missy bought him for Christmas. Aren't the hat and jeans adorable?

Ringing in the New Year

Another great weekend was had by our family. On Friday, I went to the Christmas gathering for the worship team, and it was soooo nice to see everyone. Shawn watched Joshua while I was out. Saturday morning, I met some friends for breakfast since Kris was home for the holidays from New York where she and her husband are serving with Eagles Wings. The twins couldn't make it, but Michelle and her son, Cheryl, Kris and I had a great time! Shawn and Joshua had more bonding time, which they needed since I haven't been at school during Christmas break. New Year's Even Shawn had to work during the day, so I didn't go to church by myself with the baby. He got out earlier than expected, though, and went to our friend Mike's house to watch the Eagles game. I stayed home with Bean until he came home. Together as a family, we went to Nonie & Poppy's house to ring in the New Year. We played games with Shawn's relatives (we just learned how to play "Apples to Apples" which was great fun!) until about 10 'til midnight when Jordon reminded us that we needed to see the ball drop and handed out hats, necklaces and noise makers. We stayed and visited until about 12:30 since Joshua was so good the entire night.

New Years Day consisted of mostly trying to sleep when Joshua would nap. I've been reading "What to Expect the First Year" which says that he shouldn't need to get up in the middle of the night anymore because of his size - his body should be able to maintain brain function now with a full night's rest. So, we'll see when this catches on. The book has been so interesting on tips and ideas and what his progress should be. It's hard, though, because he's advanced in some areas and way behind in others. Truly, though, he should only be two months on January 6 from his original due date instead of his three months-going-on-four. So, we're just pleased with whatever he does. He's seemed to have discovered his tongue, which he sticks out and licks his lips and moves all around. He also coos and makes all sorts of sounds. Tonight Shawn would say "ooohhhh" and Joshua would kind of repeat it (well, let's be honest...who was repeating who is yet to be determined). It was so adorable. Joshua likes to be talked to and is more attentive at different things these days, but he has yet to grab a rattle or even act slightly interested in touching anything. I know that will come with time. He is almost completely bald on top but has chunks of hair still in the back. It's so weird! He sure is adorable, though! Look at him smile!