Homecoming

On Friday my doctor came in around supper time as promised and told me I could stay another day to recouperate or go home that night. I know Shawn was missing his bed, and we were both missing Joshua so we left after eating supper and both taking showers and got home around 8:30 pm Friday night. Here is a picture of Caleb in his first 'real' outfit, getting ready to head out the door.When we got home, Shawn moved the pack 'n play from our living room to our bedroom. Even though the crib is ready, I wasn't sure about having Caleb in another room yet. Would I hear his cries even with the monitor with how tired I was feeling? I wasn't sure. Unfortunately, with everything going on, Joshua quickly woke up and didn't want to leave our sides to go back to bed. The night did not start off too well...Caleb looked so small in the car seat. Joshua was only four pounds coming home and looked tiny, but we quickly forgot how small a little guy can be. Caleb was NOT a fan of the car seat and cried from the moment he was put in until the car was started moving at a good clip. The first night at home, he didn't sleep a wink at night. I also didn't realize how painful it would be to try and crawl into a normal non-adjustable bed. I bawled most of the night along with my newborn. I'm still getting used to the feeding process, too, and I felt very overwhelmed. I also was shocked at how big Joshua looked when I got home. He's definitely not a baby anymore. I think I'm feeling the post partum blues...The hospital makes you sit in a wheelchair to leave with your baby, and a nurse pushes you out. That way, you know no one is stealing a kid. I can't believe how much stuff the hospital gave us to come home with. We got a new diaper bag, diapers, pads, formula in case we needed to supplement, pacifiers, and other things for the baby and momma. I remember the NICU giving us some things as we left, but we had also been there for a month and gotten to know the nurses. These nurses had just met us and were showering us with blessings. I also had to laugh - the nurse who was leaving her shift as we were told me that her 50+-year-old mom's name was Valerie Good. The nurse's name was Jessica Good and her mom was Valerie. How funny! Unfortunately, I had went to high school with the nurse before her, and we had played in the orchestra together. It's a little odd catching up as someone is examining every area of your body...but she was nice and I'm sure she sees it all everyday.I was not expecting the transition home to be so difficult. I knew it would be harder than the first time since I didn't have to care for any kids and could just come home and rest while the NICU took care of the Bean, but I didn't expect to feel so emotional. Joshua has been wonderful with the baby, and doesn't seem to be jealous. He's been nothing but sweet. So, it could be worse. But, with little sleep and lots of soreness, it's been a roller coaster for us all. Shawn's also exhausted. And while my mom has been a HUGE blessing, she goes back to work Monday. Please pray for us these next few weeks. I'm nervous but know God will carry us through.Caleb did finally sleep some last night, and Shawn was very sweet in taking him in between the feeding he didn't so that I could rest. Unfortunately, Joshua didn't sleep so well. Shawn again took care of him. But, he returns to work tomorrow as well, so I'm going to be on duty tonight for good. May the joy of the Lord be my strength! I have to keep remembering how blessed I am to have such amazing children and a wonderful husband and a mom who has been more helpful than words could express. I could have it much, much worse!