Lil' Caleb Luke

On Tuesday morning while Caleb was eating breakfast, I noticed him rolling his eyes. It sort of scared me, but I didn't want to make a big deal of it because I remembered the pediatrician saying that Joshua continued to bang his head because of our initial reaction, which he kept looking for thereafter. When Nonie picked up the boys, she saw it too. And Caleb did it while she was giving him a snack at her house. In fact, Jordon tried to imitate it.


I called the pediatrician, just to see if they would say this is normal (I had never seen the Bean roll his eyes yet, so I wasn't sure). Caleb had been kind of cranky that morning, so I didn't think he was amusingly trying to show me something. Still, I wasn't sure. The nurse told me that he should be checked out "just in case" and that I should try to bring him in the next day. Okay, I thought. I got an appointment with Dr. Tifft, who I really liked seeing with Joshua. He's hard to get to see since I think he was one of the ones who started the practice and every mom seems to love him. One thing I like about Dr. Tifft is that he doesn't jump to conclusions or overreact. In fact, he typically seems to think everything is within a range of normal. Joshua was never behind to him, etc. Sometimes I'm looking for more of a diagnosis than "that's within a range of normal," but I really like his personality while checking the kids and since I can be overparanoid, someone who is underparanoid is probably safest for me.


The next morning, Caleb's eyes rolled back into his head again at the breakfast table. He got totally pale, and I felt that he wasn't doing it on his own. Still, I wasn't sure, and I was glad I had made the appointment to have him looked at.


We got right in to see the doctor. Caleb weighs 20 lbs 6 oz, and is now in the 15% for weight. This fact is wild to me, who thinks he looks so much bigger than Joshua. And, Caleb eats all the time! But, maybe 15% is normal for kids this age? Who knows? The doctor asked me a ton of questions, some of which I couldn't answer. Did Caleb stop rolling his eyes if we screamed or grabbed his arms? I was trying not to overreact, so I didn't know. Did Caleb convulse in any other way? No. Did it stop his activity or did he continue to eat while he was rolling his eyes? It interuppted his activity. Was he being playful or silly? No, he was a crab-apple that morning. What was happening during every episode? How many times had it occured throughout the day? I wasn't sure because he had been away much of the day. Had he hit his head recently? Had his coordination changed? At this point, Caleb took a sideways step like a drunken sailor, and Dr. Tifft said "still pretty uncoordinated, eh?" Haa! The questions continued. I did my best to answer them.


Then Dr. Tifft looked at Caleb's eyes, in his ears (which were normal, but he had been pulling on them before), etc. The doctor then talked to me. Children can't roll their eyes on their own at this age. Or he would be "extremely advanced." He could see someone Joshua's age being advanced and rolling their eyes, but it typically doesn't happen until they're about three or older. So, he didn't think Caleb was voluntarily rolling his eyes as a new discovery. On the other hand, the only other explanation was seizures. And, since Caleb wasn't uncontrollably moving otherwise, he wasn't sure that this was the case. Was it a "minor irritation of the brain" from a recent fall (Caleb is a bit uncoordinated and does fall from time to time, but I didn't think he had ever hit his head hard enough to warrant a doctor's visit), which would cause a small seizure? Dr. Tifft wasn't sure. He didn't think there was a good explanation. So, he asked me to observe Caleb for a few days. Could we snap Caleb's eyes back into focus by trying to grab his attention? When did they happen? What did they look like? Did they stop? He wanted to know everything, as soon as anything happened. If nothing happened, he still wanted to know.


So, I waited. And I prayed. And I worried. And I tried to give it to God. So, I prayed. And then I'd take it back and worry. And I waited. I haven't seen it since. Caleb's crabby mood continued for a few days. There were a few times that he would be sooo upset that I couldn't console him, and he was arching his back and pulling his hair. I feared that his head ached. Normally I would wonder, does he have a belly ache? Does he have a tooth ache? Then I remembered him screaming like that in the afternoon when Nonie was here, and we both wondered if he was getting a tooth. I was scared. Normally I try not to read so much into every detail of life. Then I wondered if I should have been reading more into different things. I could have pulled my own hair out! I gave myself a stomach ache with worrying. I know God is in control. I know He loves Caleb even more than I do. I know that children are a blessing from God; sons, a heritage from the Lord (Psalms 127:3-5). I've been telling myself all the Scripture I can recall about not worrying. And I haven't seen anything since. That drove me craziest of all, because seeing another episode would really show whether or not it was a seizure.


I called the doctor Friday morning and left a message to call me. I had talked to Nonie about what she saw and told the pediatrician what she had said when he called me back just after lunch time. I told him about his crying fits, and I told him I hadn't seen a thing since and he had become more chipper... in fact, the last few days he'd been his normal, easygoing, extremely happy self. After listening, the doctor said, given all the information, he still would recommend a CT scan of his brain. He hates to sedate little guys with anesthesia for 'no reason' but he thinks this is enough reason to check things out and be sure. I felt relieved. And scared, honestly. I'm glad the doctor isn't letting it go; on the other hand, my worry is creeping up like weeds. I keep giving it to God. Last night, I gave it to Him all night as I couldn't sleep. Literally, I saw 3...4...5...and 6 when Joshua came into our room (why don't children know that it's a weekend and they can sleep in?).


Dr. Tifft's office was supposed to call me back with the time for the test. I called his office at 4:45 to see if they had forgotten us, and the gal told me that Dr. Tifft was seeing patients until 5 pm and would probably call me after that time. However, she said it may take a day or two to schedule anesthesia & the CT Scan, etc. So, if he didn't call by Monday morning, she said I should call back. And, there's been no call. I was hoping for one even today, but nothing. Now the waiting is nearly killing me. If they think it's something serious with his brain, why does it take so long, I wonder? But again, God is the great physician. He knows what timing is meant to be for Caleb. I haven't seen the little guy be upset since or do anything out of the ordinary, so then I wonder if maybe the test isn't needed after all? But then I think, what can it hurt? Then we would know for sure. I'm just so thankful he's been happy, alert, enjoying life, etc. Please keep him in your prayers!!!