Friday, the 13th

Deep Thoughts
I remember my friend Julie's husband Dan emailing me the Deep Thought of the Day (DTOTD) from time to time when I worked at MM. I was writing an email blast looking for quotes and stumbled across some good ones that were cracking me up! Here's a few deep thoughts for your enjoyment (more can be found at http://farstrider.net/DeepThoughts/Handey.htm):

• Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
• Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said "Hey, hows it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"
• Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.
• I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.
• Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed?
• If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone.
• Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.
• To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
• Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.