The Count

Last night I had worship practice - my last one before the baby arrives! Afterward we gathered in a circle to pray, and they prayed for our next little guy. I'm hoping he comes sooner than July 8...so long as he's healthy, of course. God's a big God - He can do that! When we left, it was POURING! I was a drowned rat until I walked to Shawn's car (we switched so he could do some shopping and have the extra space). This morning, Joshua woke up with a bad cold. Poor Bean! We snuggled for a bit and were rocking in the goofy chair in our office and he began showing me all the body parts he knows, and actually said each one out loud as he was going through them. He said "eyes" and then "nose" and "cheeks," etc. And each one was distinctively clear. Then I asked him "What does a cow say?" and he replied "Mooo!" (We weren't even looking at picture books or anything!) I asked him about a duck, and he quacked; then I asked about a kitty cat and he said "meow!" There was something else, but I can't remember...he quickly lost interest in my "game." So, next we'll have to work on shapes and colors. He's doing better with getting shapes into their places, but I'm not sure if he knows each shape's name. I'm also not sure what is "normal" to expect at this age. We met Grandma for lunch, and it was nice visiting with her even though Joshua wasn't the best...it's hard to be a good boy when you don't feel well, I'm sure. He took a nice long nap this afternoon, and so did the Mama!
When Daddy got home from work, we went to Grace's softball game. The little girls were so cute! Most of them had an attention span like mine (nilch!) and did not even notice the ball coming toward them. But, they all got their turn at swinging and running the bases. One of Grace's 'outfield' positions was being the catcher, and she got all dressed up in the gear. It was adorable.
Afterward, we headed to Uncle Brian & Aunt Gayle's house. Grant was cute when he asked the Bean, "Joshua, would you like to take a bath with Grant?" He was sitting in a plastic 'tub' pretending to be in a bath, I guess, and asked if Joshua would like to join him (which he didn't!).
Then tonight as Daddy was going down the stairs and helping Joshua, the Bean counted to four all by himself! I couldn't believe my ears. Daddy said "one" and Joshua said "two" at the next step, "three" at the next one, and then "four" at the next. He didn't get five, but I was thoroughly impressed with getting to four. Oh, our baby is growing! I'm so proud and so happy! Yet, I'm still glad that he enjoys some cuddle time and hasn't packed his bags for college yet!

A Weekend With Grandparents

We had a very nice 3-day weekend that went by much too quickly! Friday night, Joshua & I went out on a "date" with Grandma & Grace. We got dressed up (as in, not our play clothes), I picked up Grace and then Grandma, and we all headed to Piero's for dinner while Daddy stayed home and mowed our lawn (bummer that I didn't grab my camera for the outing). Joshua wasn't interested in what he had to eat but only wanted to eat Grace's dinner. You can tell she's the oldest of four because she gladly shared what she was having with her little cousin...she is very sweet. After dinner, Joshua stayed with Grandma & Grace for a little bit while Daddy & I went shopping for some storage containers to pack up everything we've been storing in the spare-very-soon-to-be Joshua's bedroom. We picked up the Bean afterward and headed for home...thanks for the date, Grandma!Saturday morning Shawn & I headed to a few yard sales to look for a decent double stroller (with no success). Afterward, we got the call that Grandma & Grandpa Ginder had safely made it to town - they drove up from Florida to settle on the sale of their shoppe. Joshua had a great time playing with them! We immediately headed "outside" at Joshua's request and then to the playground at the elementary school behind our house.Here Joshua learned the word "easy" as he would climb on stairs or slide down the slide. These days he's a little sponge and will repeat anything you say or do (within reason). I think Grandma & Grandpa Ginder were probably somewhat surprised by how much this little guy has grown since their last visit. He showed them all the body parts he knows, to which we added 'cheeks' last night. Here are the boys going down the slide - Grandma Ginder & Mommy didn't venture up on the playground equipment. That evening we met back up with them after Joshua's nap at Bird-in-Hand Family Restaurant, where we also saw Aunt Missy. Afterward we went back to their hotel suite to relax and play. Grandma Ginder unplugged one of their phones, and Aunt Missy said "beep beep" as Joshua pushed the buttons. When we got home, Joshua would say "beep, beep...Hello?"Sunday morning, Daddy had to be at church early once again to help with A/V team stuff. I seriously debated on whether or not to go. Joshua was somewhat cranky when he woke up, and I was feeling tired. But, I decided that we both needed church. I got us ready and we headed outside, where a large black cat from the neighborhood jumped out of our bushes and ran into our backyard, scaring me half to death. Joshua, on the other hand, loved it. He said "meowwww!" and started running after it. I finally got him into the car and we headed toward the city, where I tried walking with him hand-in-hand the block and a half from where we parked to the front door. We were doing okay until the church bells from the church behind us started to chime...then he wanted to run the other way to find that beautiful noise. We eventually made it to the front door where Daddy was waiting for us (thank God for cell phones!) and he happily shouted "DAH!!!!" which made everyone smile. Joshua was very good during church, and both the worship and sermon were excellent, so I was doubly glad I went. They had a special part of the service to honor those who served in our armed forces, and a young boy played the bagpipes - it was awesome! I couldn't get over his talent. Then the sermon was on the Holy Spirit giving us vision, and Pastor Matt drew a parallel between this and a typical eye exam to check our sight. I love how he speaks with visual elements because it helps me remember what the main points of the sermon were. He discussed the Israelites coming out of Egypt and how they were chosen and appointed but lost their vision. Then, he gave some practical application steps. One was to pray for five things that don't affect and/or benefit us to keep us outward focused and not always "me, me, me" (this was a challenge given in a previous sermon that he said is important to resurrect). Then, he asked who had something that they could complain about...of course, the entire sanctuary raised their hands. He said to find five things about that situation to thank God for in the midst of it. Finally, he said to not allow God to become "common" where we don't recognize him as God and fear him. I would recommend listening to the sermon, if you have time. You can download it by date at http://www.lhop.com/160884.ihtml.During the sermon, Joshua fell asleep down in the nursery; and the workers said he was good for them. He slept the whole way through the car ride until we got to Ruby Tuesdays, where we met Grandma & Grandpa Ginder and Uncle Brian & Aunt Gayle, along with Grant & Jenavieve for lunch. Here are pictures of Joshua & Grant with Grandma & Grandpa Ginder outside the restaurant. He started saying "cheese!" here before we snapped the pictures. After we left there, we all went home for naps. Shawn & I started working on Joshua's room this weekend and we finally bought the furniture that he'll sleep on for now, which was hugely discounted. We had already ordered a sports-themed quilt online and are anxiously awaiting its arrival. We need to finish clearing out the spare bedroom and setting up Joshua's items so I can move his clothing and other belongings into this area and start going through the baby items to make sure we have everything we need before the little one arrives. I've been praying he'll come sooner rather than later, but I'll feel better when we have everything waiting for him!Sunday night, Grandma & Grandpa Ginder came back over to our house after spending time with Missy & Kevin and we enjoyed eating pizza on our deck. Joshua was such a ham with them...so cute, and he had sooo much fun playing. On Memorial Day, they came back over and we ate lunch together at Freeze & Frizz. Joshua now knows to look up (and he points) when we say "airplane!" (which he can also say). That afternoon we headed to Nonie & Poppy's house for a cookout, and I forgot my camera again. Bummer! Hopefully I can get some pics from Jess or Shari, who were snapping away. We stopped in at Mom's house on the way home to wish her a Happy Memorial Day and then it was back home, where I gave a dirty, sweating Bean a bath and put him to bed. It was a wonderful weekend, and it was sad that Daddy went back to work today. :(

Have a safe trip home, Grandma & Grandpa Ginder! We'll see you in July!

Baby Good @ Week 34

Only 3 to 5 weeks to go!!!

Fetal Development
The baby responds as a newborn with its eyes open while awake and closed while sleeping. He is developing immunities to fight mild infection. Those sharp little fingernails are at the ends of the fingertips already, and you might need to clip them during the first few days after birth.

Maternal Changes:
You've probably felt some Braxton Hicks contractions for the past several weeks but they may intensify now. They are usually painless and non-rhythmical. These are preparing your body for the real thing.

Ideas for Dad:
Mom is feeling huge and clumsy now. She may be weepy and vulnerable or extremely moody. Tell her how beautiful she is and what a wonderful mom she'll be. Serve her breakfast in bed and help her feel like the special woman she is.

Inspirational Thoughts:
"When you can't have what you want, it's time to start wanting what you have." ~Kathleen A. Sutton

God's Little Boy is...Content

When you go outside and you're still as can be,

And you take time to notice, to hear and to see,

Then all of the wonders that God made for you

Will bring peace of mind and contentment, too.

Peace of mind means a healthy body.

Proverbs 14:30

Dear God, we thank you for little Joshua. I praise you that you are with him each day as he continues to grow. I see his mind learning to grasp new things each day, while he's also beginning to eat and grow stronger. I praise you for making him content and bringing him peace of mind. I ask that our house would always be a place of peace for him. May he always know how much he is loved by us and by you. Please give him a sound mind as he continues to grow, and help him to grow in your likeness and image. In Jesus' name we pray, AMEN!

Interesting Tidbits from Positive Discipline Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Getting to Know Your Young Child

One of the first and most important challenges in parenting your baby or toddler is understanding what his world looks and feels like. One of the best ways of becoming an effective parent - or, for that matter, an effective human being - is to understand the perceptions of other people, to be able to "get into their world."

Children are a product of both nature and nurture and also bring into the world something uniquely their own; their own spirit and identity. These factors, combined with the individual decisions they make along the way about what they must do to survive or thrive, will form their personalities.

A child learns about the world by doing and playing.

A child's developmental need to explor and experiment may be labeled as misbehavior. Children need secure, loving boundaries in order to feel safe. Still, any self-respecting child will feel obliged to cruise up to the boundaries you've set and test them occasionally, just to make sure they're firmly in place. He's not deliberately trying to drive you insane; he's either exploring at his age-appropriate level or learning about consistency and whether or not adults mean what they say (another version of trust).

Often adults fail to realize that they simply can't reason with a toddler and spend more time talking than acting. No matter how well you use them, words are sounds without real substance to young children. Actions, like removing a child from a forbidden temptation by picking him up and carrying him to another location, provide a clear message. Is all this testing annoying? Of course! Frustrating? Absolutely! But children are rarely as intentionally naughty as their parents think - they're just acting their age.

Young children rarely misbehave purposely. Adults mistakingly read motives - that is, intent - into children's behavior that reflect adult thinking rather than childish thinking. Toddlers are highly impulsive little people, and the warners are simply overpowered by the desire to touch, hold and explore. [Your son] is a mad scientist using his hands, mouth and imperfect coordination to determine the properties of the marvelous world around him. Your real tasks as a parent are prevention, vigilance - and very quick reflexes.

A child's physical size and abilities have a strong influence on behavior. Take a moment and look at the world from your child's level. And then just imagine how frightening a yelling, pointing parent would look from down there. The best way to talk to a tiny person is to get down on their level and look them in the eye. Again putting yourself into their shoes, how would adults feel if everything they tried was just a little beyond their ability to succeed - and they were criticized for the efforts they made? Most would give up and possibly start misbehaving out of sheer frustration.

A child's concept of reality and fantasy are different from those of an adult. A young child experiments with his imagination to explore and learn. Fantasy may also be a way of getting in touch with feelings for which he doesn't yet have the words.

Patience is a virtue far beyond the reach of most young children. Time moves far more slowly for an eager child than it does for an adult. Yes, children need to learn patience eventually, but parents need to be patient long enough to let them learn.

The truth about boys and girls (generally - each child is unique): baby boys actually appear to be more fragile at birth than do baby girls and are more easily stressed and more susceptible to health problems. They are often "fussier" than girls; they cry more easily and seem to have a harder time calming themselves down. Baby boys may be more sensitive to change in routine and to parental anger or depression. As children grow into their toddler years, boys appear to be more impulsive; they learn self-control more slowly, are more physically active, and yes, tend to be more aggressive and competitive than little girls. Whether your child is a boy or a girl, it is important that you build strong face-to-face connection, with lots of talking, laughing and singing. Getting into your child's world and understanding his development (including the influence of gender) will help you teach, encourage, and comfort your own unique child.

Development or Misbehavior? As you have learned, one of the challenges in parenting a young child is understanding the difference between normal development and intentional misbehavior. You and your child will benefit greatly if you learn all you can about growth and development. It is also important that you know your own child well. And eventually, you must learn to trust your innate wisdom as a parent. No expert or book can give you all the answers.

33 Weeks!

I can't believe that this is the week that Joshua was born. This is as pregnant as I've ever been! We have 4-6 weeks left if all goes well.

Fetal Development:

At this point, the amniotic fluid is at the highest level in the pregnancy. The amount will remain constant until delivery. Rapid brain growth has increased the baby's head size approximately 3/8 of an inch this week. Fat continues to accumulate which turns the baby's skin color from red to pink.

Maternal Changes:
You'll be gaining about a pound a week. Mild edema is normal but if you experience severe headache; seeing "spots" or "flashing lights" while at rest; sudden increase in swelling, such as over 2-3 days, especially of the face; abdominal pain; and nausea, vomiting, and feeling sick, contact your caregiver immediately. You could be developing pre-eclampsia which is characterized by swelling, high blood pressure and protein in the urine. It is a very serious complication of pregnancy.

Ideas for Dad:
Mom has probably been working on a birth announcement list. If you haven't helped out and given her a list of those you want to receive an announcement such as relatives, friends and co-workers, now is a good time to get started.

Happy 20 Month Birthday, Joshua!

I can't believe my baby turned 20 months old today, drawing oh-so-near to that 2-year-old mark. I see him growing by the moment, which is good in many ways and just a little sad in others as my tiny 3 pounder is becoming a distant memory. His appointment with Dr. Devenyi this past Monday revealed he's now over 25 lbs. Hooray!
Joshua has been doing some really cute new things lately. He mimicks us all the time, which is adorable. He picked up his 'hush' puppy the other day and gave it a hug, and we both said "awww!" to which he said "awww!" right back. Now, everytime he picks up his puppy and gives it a hug, he says "awwww!" at how cute he is.
The other day Daddy was yawning and then I did too. Joshua jumped right in with a very loud, fake yawn that cracked us both up.
Today was one of the first "successful" lessons on using silverware. I'm at a loss on how to best show him, but today during breakfast he let me hold his hand while he had the fork in it and I helped him stab his waffle. Every time he got food on the fork and he got it to his mouth, I clapped for him and he put down his fork to clap for himself. We tried it again, then. He ate an entire blueberry waffle doing this, as he was interested in learning today. Most days he's too anxious to do it himself and gets frustrated when he can't get the food on the utensil or it falls off before going into his mouth. I was so proud of him for trying today!

He was not so interested, though, in being sat on the potty seat a little while ago. The pediatrician said if he didn't care for it the first time to wait a week or so and try again to slowly introduce him to the concept and not scare him. I took pictures of him with his first round of trying for the memories, but those are just for our family. :)Joshua is also learning new words by the minute. I'm trying to encourage him to use his words rather than whine or throw fits. It's difficult being a little guy and trying to communicate! One of my favorites that he says is 'no' if I ask him if he'd like another drink or more of something. It's a sweet, gentle "no" as he shakes his head. And, it lets me know what he's thinking. He also says yes, sure or okay to questions, as I've said before. I LOVE when he talks in general. That voice is music to my ears.He's also learning more of his body parts. He loves to show off his belly, and he'll grab his ears when you ask where his "wiggle wiggles" are. I started telling him that his ears go "wiggle wiggle" because he kept confusing them with his eyes. Now, he enjoys showing us both. He knows eyes, nose, lips, teeth, head, belly, hands and toes well. We were working on learning his arms recently, too.He's getting better with animal sounds, too. Today he was meow-ing, which was just adorable to listen to. He doesn't always do these things on cue, but he'll entertain you with his knowledge on his terms when he's interested. I'm learning that it's me that has to be patient and understand that he doesn't always want to show you how much he knows just because I ask on demand.

He's liking his shape sorters, too, and will put shapes in the right places with help. I'm always interested in what he enjoys as he grows and develops...what a big boy my little Bean has become! I love him dearly!!! And so does his precious Dada!

Your Grace is Enough

Bubbles of Fun & Positive Discipline Chapter 2

When I was out grabbing decorations for Shawn's birthday party, I picked up some bubbles to play with Joshua and dug them out yesterday when it was nicer than we expected. All day it was overcast and they had called for rain, but it ended up being in the 70s and very pleasant. Joshua loved playing with the bubbles. Here are the pictures to prove it.Yesterday I also finished Chapter 2 of the "Positive Discipline" book. Here are some tidbits that I found interesting:

• "A family, it has been said, is a circle of people who love one another. Whatever form your family takes, it will be whatever you have the courage to make it. With wisdom, patience, and love, you can create a place where your children can feel safe, secure and free to grow and learn and where they can become responsible respectful and resourceful people."

• Wouldn't it be helpful, as you set out on the journey of parenting, to know your final destination? Perhaps one of the wisest things you can do right now is to take a moment to ask yourself a very important question: What is it that I really want for my child? When your baby, your toddler, or your preschooler has grown into an adult...what qualities and characteristics do you want that adult to have?

• What truly matters is this: From your child's very earliest moments of life, the decisions you make as a parent will shape his future.
• Your child is constantly making decisions about himself and the world, and how to find belonging and significance in this world.
• Please be assured: Mistakes are not insurmountable failures but valuable opportunities to learn.
• The most valuable parenting tools are those you already possess: your love for your child and your own inner wisdom and common sense.
• Remember, an action (with both positive and negative results) is a far more effective teacher than a thousand words. Let your actions as a parent teach your child that he is loved and respected, that choices have consequences and that home is a safe and wonderful place to be.
• The real issue is whether you can show that love [for your child] in a way that nutures accountability and self-esteem, a way that helps your children blossom into their full potential as happy, contributing members of society.
• Will it [the things that you let slide now] still be cute when he's 12 years old and still doing it?
• Eventually, most parents realize that true love requires that they love their children enough to teach them, to set wise boundaries, to say no when they must, and to help them learn to live peacefully and respectfully in a world filled with other people.
• Parents who are contented, healthy and relatively well rested (being tired seems an unavoidable part of raising young children) are, not surprisingly, best prepared to cope with the challenges of raising a young child.
• If you have a partner, remember that your relationship is the foundation of your family; invest the time and energy it takes to keep it strong.
• Taking time to cherish a partner as well as your individual needs isn't selfishness or bad parenting - it's wisdom. Your child will learn to respect and value the needs and feelings of others by watching the choices you make. Be sure to leave time each week for activities you enjoy and that nuture your physical and emotional health...
• Raising your young child can be more enjoyable and less frustrating when parents help each other, share ideas and work together to solve the inevitable problems.
• Wise parents know that parenting is a parternship and that when parents treat it as such, the real winners will be their children. Sure, parents have different styles. The great news is that those differences can be a real plus for your child, who will learn skills for interacting with different kinds of people.

• When all is said and done, parenting is essentially a matter of the heart and spirit as well as training and knowledge. Perhaps the greatest parenting skill of all is the ability to feel an unbreakable bond of love and warmth for your children and to be able to listen to the voice of love and wisdom even when your patience has been stretched to the breaking point.
• The best parenting translates love from words into thoughtful, effective action.

• There are so many things in life that can shake a parent's confidence. You will make mistakes; your child will make mistakes too. We're all learning to be people as we go along, experimenting on each other, blundering occasionally, doing the best we can.
• The next time you tuck in your little one...let your gaze rest on that sleeping little face; print it firmly in your memory. And when you're confronted with a hysterical infant, a defiant toddler, or an angry preschooler - and there will be many such times as the years roll by - close your eyes for just a moment and look in your memory for the face of a sleeping child. Then let that love and tenderness give you the wisdom to deal with the crisis at hand.

• Parenting is rarely a simple matter, and no one can challenge or stretch a parent like a very young child who is learning and exploring his world one piece at a time.
• Remember that it is always the relationship between parent and child that matters most. If that relationship is based on unconditional love and trust - if your children know from their earliest days that you love them no matter what - you'll probably do just fine.
• Taking the time now to build the proper foundation by entering your child's world and understanding how he feels and thinks, and by talking, laughing, playing and just being together, may be the best investment you will ever make in the future of your family.

• No one ever said it would be easy to be a parent; it is undoubtedly one of life's most demanding, time-consuming, and unappreciated jobs. But it isn't always easy to be a child these days, either. Have patience; work toward trust and closeness.
• A little love and understanding coupled with some solid skills and ideas will help you find your way to being the best parent you can be: one who parents from the heart.

Playin' with Play Doh

Yesterday, Joshua & I played with Play-Doh for the first time. Nonie & Poppy had given some to him in his Easter 'basket' and it was one of the "building play" activities suggested by Gerome and the leader of the Mommies & Me group. But, I was also told it was extraordinarily messy, so I had to make sure I was up for the challenge (although it ended up not being that bad at all). I also did it with the "30" plastic throw-away table cloth; I need to get more plastic table cloths for messy fun!
Play Doh has certainly come a long way since I played with it! Joshua's goody bag had four colors in it, a roller, a pair of scissors, a ton of shapes, and some things to form it and squeeze it, etc. I had as much fun as he did exploring with it!
These are the shapes that came along with the set...so cool! There's a circle, a diamond, a shark, a turtle, a star, a clover, a penguin and a seahorse. Then there was something that you can squeeze the play-doh through to make stringy-like spaghetti and another piece of equipment I didn't quite understand. Ha!
Joshua was enthralled for a full 15 minutes (about his max for anything we do). He liked the feel of it and trying to make shapes and roll it. Good times! We'll definitely play with Play Doh again now that I know what to expect. :) :) :) Thanks, Nonie & Poppy, for the gift!

Positive Discipline the First Three Years

One of the books I bought from the Mommies & Me group is called "Positive Discipline the First Three Years." I started reading it yesterday now that the semester is over, and I thought I would share some interesting tidbits from my reading of the first chapter.

• What is Positive Discipline? Positive Discpline has nothing to do with punishment and everything to do with teaching and guidance. As you will learn, much of what your little one does in these early years has more to do with emotional, physical, and cognitive development and age-appropriate behavior than it does with "misbehavior." Discipline with very young children is mostly deciding about what you will do (and kindly and firmly following through) than with what you expect your child to do. And it's never too early to lay a foundation for respectful, effective parenting. Positive discipline (from the Latin root disciplina, which means 'teaching; learning') is about teaching, understanding, encouraging and communicating - not about punishing.


• Questions to ask yourself: 1) How do I help my child learn respect, cooperation and problem solving skills? 2) How do I help my child feel capable? 3) How do I help my child feel belonging and significance? 4) How do I get into my child's world and understand the developmental process? and 5) How can I use problems as opportunities for learning - for my child and for me?


• The building blocks of positive discipline include: mutual respect, understanding the belief behind the behavior, understanding child development and age-appropriateness, effective communication, discpline that teaches valuable skills and attitudes, focusing on solutions instead of punishment, encouragement, children do better when they feel better.

• From his earliest moments, your child has four basic needs (in addition to food, shelter, care and security): A sense of belonging and significance, perceptions of capability, personal power and autonomy, and social and life skills.
• A Sense of Belonging & Significance: Sadly, children often "misbehave" in situations where they have lost their sense of belonging or connection. Discipline that is kind and firm at the same time balances security and boundaries with the love and respect children need so much these early years. Young children's misbehavior is a sort of "code" designed to let you know that they don't feel a sense of belonging and need your attention, connection, time and teaching. When you create a sense of belonging and signficance for every member of your family, your home becomes a place of peace, respect and safety.
• Perceptions of Capability: If you do too much for your toddler (in the name of love), he will form the belief that he is not capable. Words alone are not powerful enough to build a sense of competence and confidence in children. Capability comes from experiences of accomplishment and self-sufficiency, and from developing solid skills.
• Personal Power and Autonomy: Some of this behavior [of strong willed children] is developmentally appropriate and age-appropriate, as children explore and experiment to discover who they are and what they can do. Part of your job as a parent will be to help direct your toddler to learn to channel his power in positive directions - kind and firm distraction and redirection until he is old enough to help solve problems, to learn life skills and to respect and cooperate with others.
• Social and Life Skills: True self-esteem does not come from being loved, praised or showered with goodies; it comes from having skills that provide a sense of capability and resiliency to handle the ups and downs and disappointments of life. [Allow your child to go with you throughout your day to 'help' you and mimick you so they can learn...]

• Methods that Invite Cooperation: 1) Get children involved! Instead of telling children what to do, find ways to involve them in creating routines and to draw out what they think and perceive. Also remember to give your children choices [that are acceptable to you.]
• 2) Create Routines: Young children learn best by repetition and consistency. You can ease the transition into autonomy by creating reliable routines for your little one. Routines can be created for every event that happens over and over: getting up, bedtime, dinner, shopping, and so on. As soon as your child is old enough, get him involved in helping to create routine charts. Once he's older, he'll love telling you what's next on the routine chart.
• 3) Offer Chioces: Having choices gives children a sense of power and invites a child to use his thinking skills as he contemplates what do do.
• 4) Provide Opportunities to Help
• 5) Teach Respect by Being Respectful
• 6) Use Your Sense of Humor: Learn to laugh together and to create games to get unpleasant jobs done quickly.
• 7) Get Into Your Child's World: Understanding your toddler's developmental needs and limitations is critical to parenting in the first three yearsa of life. Be empathetic when your child cries (or has a temper tantrum). He may just be frustrated with his lack of abilities. Empathy does not mean giving in, for if you pamper your child he won't have the opportunity to learn from experience that he can survive disappointment. Getting into his world means seeing the world from his perspective and recognizing his abilities - and his limitations. Occasionally ask yourself how you might be feeling (and acting) if you were your child. It can be illuminating to view the world through a smaller person's eyes.
• 8) If You Say It, Mean It, and If You Mean It, Follow Through With Kind and Firm Action: the fewer words you say, the better. This may mean redirecting your child to show him what he can do instead of punishing him for what he can't. It also might mean worldessly removing a child from a situation, rather than getting into an argument or battle of the wills. When this is done kindly, firmly and without anger or words, it will be both respectful and effective.
• 9) Be Patient: Understand that you may need to teach your child many things over and over before he is developmentally ready to understand. For example, sharing...when he refuses to share, rest assured this doesn't mean he will be forever selfish. Don't take your child's behavior personally and think your child is mad at you, bad or defiant.
• 10) Provide Lots of Supervision, Distraction and Redirection: Remember that children develop differently and will have different strengths. Expecting from a child what he cannot give will only frustrate both of you. Think of yourself as a coach...and as an observer, learning who your child is as a unique human being. Watch carefully as you introduce new opportunities and activities; discover what your child is interested in, what your child can do by himself, and what he needs help learning from you.

• Rethink "Time Out" - time-out can be an extremely effective way of helping a child (and a parent!) calm down enough to solve problems together when they are both rational. Time-out is an effective and appropriate parenting tool when it is positive and not punitive, and is used to teach, encourage and sooth. Time outs should NOT be used with children under the age of three and a half to four years of age. Until the age of reason, supervision and distraction are the most effective parenting tools. Even when children reach the beginning stages of reason, they do not have the maturity and judgement to make logical decisions. You wouldn't let your child play near a busy street alone because they 'should know better.' This is why young children need constant supervision and removal, kindly and firmly, from what they can't do and guidance to an activity they can do. Children do better when they feel better. If you do choose to use a time out, think of a calming, soothing place that you and your child can go to together - perhaps with his favorite blanket, toy or music. No, this is not rewarding misbehavior. It is understanding that children do better when they feel better.
• No parenting tool works all the time. Be sure to have more than just 'time-out' in your toolbox. There is never one tool - or three, or even ten - that is effective for every situation and every child.
• Always remember your child's development and capabilities. Understanding what is (and is not) age appropriate behavior will help you not to expect things that are beyond the ability of your child.

• Let the Message of Love Get Through: You know you love your child, but does he know that you offer discipline, skills and teaching because you love him? Even the most effective nonpunitive parenting tools must be used in an atmosphere of love, of unconditional acceptance and belonging. Your child will do better when he feels better, and he will feel better when he lives in a world of kindness and firmness that creates an atmosphere of love and belonging.

God's Little Boy is...Kind

"I love being kind," says God's little boy,
"giving to others and bringing them joy."
Now, how about you? What can you share?
What can you do to show people you care?

Don't ever stop being kind and truthful.

Let kindness and truth show in all you do.

Proverbs 3:3

Dear God, I thank you for your ability to develop character in Joshua's life. There are times I throw up my hands in exasperation, wondering how to best show him the right way to behave. But, I know that our actions are an expression of our heart, and only You can truly change our hearts and spirits. I pray that you would develop your character in Joshua. Help us as parents to discipline him in a loving way that guides him to a path of righteousness for your name sake. Help us lead Joshua to you so that you can mold his heart, soul and mind into your likeness. Thank you for Joshua and what an amazing little boy he is. Help him to be kind to everyone, learn how to share and be truthful all his days. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN!