How to Say Goodbye

Tomorrow I'm going with Mom to the funeral home while she makes arrangements. Hospice suggested she call now and hear options while her mind is still somewhat clear. My niece Faith has been asking a lot of questions, including "When can I get to visit Jamie if he's in heaven?" and "Is heaven forever?" and finally "Won't Grandma be sad if Jamie has to go to heaven? Will she be lonely?" Soooo sweet, and yet so sad. My prayer is that he doesn't suffer. He can't move, can't talk, can't eat, etc. I heard the song by Michael W. Smith "How to Say Goodbye" on the radio, and I got teary. Here are the words:

Tell me when

the time we had slipped away

Tomorrow turned to yesterday

And I don't know how

Tell me what

can stop this river of tears

It's been building up for years

For this moment now

Here I stand

Arms open wide

I've held ya close

Kept ya safe

Till you could fly

Tell me where

the road ahead is gonna bend

And how to harness up the wind

And how to say goodbye

Tell me why

Why does following your dreams

Take you far away from me

And I knew that it would

Tell me how

to feel the space you left behind

And how to laugh instead of cry

And how to say goodbye

Here I stand

Arms open wide

I've held ya close

Kept ya safe

Till you could fly

Tell me where

the road ahead is gonna bend

And how to harness up the wind

And how to say goodbye

On a happier note, Joshua is getting bigger by the day, and not just physically but his whole being. He says "uh oh" clear as day and at the right time when he accidentally dropped something, understands when he's not allowed to do something, tries to laugh and make you forget that you're trying to discipline him, and is just showing how sharp he is over and over again. He looks for toys that have dropped or rolled and figures out how things work more now...I can't really put it all into words, but I can just see him maturing. My little Bean...becoming such a big boy! Here is one picture from our Christmas poses that we did not order but that cracked me up. It's horrendous of Shawn and me, and Joshua looks positively terrified!