Happy 5th Birthday, Grace!

Today is Grace's 5th birthday, so she'll be starting school behind my house this fall. I can't believe she's so old already! My little Peanut Butter is growing up quickly! I'm looking forward to going to her birthday party tomorrow night. I was bummed that I missed Emma's because I was sick. Today is also Missy & Kevin's anniversary - we hope it's a happy one! This morning I saw the tiniest baby bunny taking refuge beneath the shade of our bushes that surround our deck. Soooo adorable!

Shawn lowered the crib the beginning of this week. So far, so good - Joshua can't quite reach the top yet to chew some more. I think his 8th tooth will come soon - there's no question he is teething again. Our son has also been getting into everything lately! Yesterday Shawn was playing with him in our bedroom, and the Bean opened my bottom dresser drawer of our wider chest with the mirror on top. So, Shawn put his foot against it to keep it shut. Joshua proceeded to get onto his knees to open the drawer above it. Shawn put his leg against both drawers and tried to get Joshua interested in playing. The Bean simply moved over to Shawn's side of the dresser and opened the bottom drawer. Shawn sat him across the room, only for Joshua to go over to the tall dresser and open the bottom drawer. From there, he went to our armoire to try to open it. BEAN! Play with YOUR toys! The night before last I was playing with Joshua in the office and got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back, he had dumped the trash can. We had been playing on the other side of the room!!! BEAN!!! We gave him a bath (just to make sure he was clean) and Daddy put a long sleeve onesie on him before bed. He must have gotten hot overnight (I'm trying to let him get back to sleep on his own when he wakes up unless he's positively screaming in pain) because when I went to get him the next morning, his little arm was in the neck hole and the sleeve was dangling under his arm pit. Impressive that he was starting to get undressed. When I went to dress him last night, he's now shoving his arms through the sleeves. Hooray! This morning, though, he got confused and put his arm through the neck and was upset that I wanted to remove it and put it in the right spot. Silly Bean! We've decided we're overdue on baby-proofing the house. Tomorrow we want to disassemble the bookshelf in the office since Joshua loves to try to play with it and pull books off, and it's not the sturdiest thing we've ever seen. I think it's time to put up the dresser latches, too, and make the whole house safer in general, one step at a time. Any suggestions for us of things we might forget?

Yesterday I watched the last half of Oprah, which was on autism. They were talking about signs, which included not pointing by a year, not playing "so big" by a year, and a couple other things that kind of got me worried. That one-year mark is quickly approaching for us, and he doesn't point yet or play "so big" or clap. Shawn said to me, "But you don't point, so how is he going to know how?" I felt so bad all night last night. It's true - I remember being taught it's not polite to point. So, if I'm showing him something, I'll often go pick it up and bring it to him. I rarely point. But, I'm trying to make sure that I start. I also rarely clap with songs. I used to, but now I'm typically playing the piano, or working if we're at home, or holding the Bean during the fast songs at church since they are the beginning of the service and I want to get him acclimated to the environment, or reading the Bible to look up the verse that goes along with the song. I have to start clapping more to demonstrate when it's appropriate. I was upset last night thinking, "Why, God, would you entrust someone so precious as Joshua to a mom like me?" I've been extraordinarly busy this past week trying to prepare for school and getting more copy jobs, plus trying to keep the house relatively clean and take care of Joshua... I feel like it's impossible to do everything well, and I fear the one who's losing out on "quality" time is our precious son. He's most important, but other than eating & changing diapers he's deadline-free. And, I'm not upset at all at having work - I've been praying to God asking for more work so we don't have to worry about money as much. But, I feel guilty at not giving 100% of my attention all the time to Joshua. I've been so worried about him growing and eating enough, being healthy all around and giving him his medicine on time, and now him getting stronger physically that sometimes I think I'm not working enough on teaching him new skills and things about the world. Lord, please help me to be the best parent for the bestest little boy I've ever known! My reading this morning from the Bible included this passage: 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 "You've all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You're after one that's gold eternally. I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition. I'm not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself." Jesus, please help me run the best race possible in every aspect of life!

In other news, Jamie comes home tomorrow. The hospital bed arrived today, which made mom cry realizing that we're nearing the end. We went to Good's Furniture Store last night to buy a recliner that will lift to help him sit down and stand up at the touch of the button. The sales guy was TERRIBLE! He told us they had three in stock, then said he could only sell us the floor model, then he had to check with his manager to make sure that was okay, then he left us waiting for 20 minutes, and finally Mom had had enough. She was trying to give someone money that obviously didn't want to make a sale, so we left. I felt bad for her since she wanted to get something before Jamie came home and was willing to spend whatever it took, only to be jerked around by some idiot. Shawn and I are going to be with them on Sundays, so maybe she can go look some more while we're staying with Jamie.