The Beauty of Butterflies

When we got home from our vacation in DC, we had a package arrive from InsectLore. For his birthday, Grandpa had gotten Caleb a butterfly cage (at my suggestion) and we had just ordered the caterpillars online before leaving. We were excited to open the package and find this cup with an additional set of instructions inside. It was nearly impossible to get good pictures of it, but inside the cup were three large caterpillars along with the food needed to sustain them. The company also knew where to strategically put things like small holes for air, etc.

We read the instructions and I put the cup where the boys could easily see it to make observations but in a safe place where it wouldn't get bumped or hurt. In the beginning, we would simply "check the caterpillars" each time we entered the kitchen to prepare a meal. Caleb especially would proclaim "it's time to check the caterpillars" each morning before breakfast. We would watch as they would slugglishly move around. Sometimes we didn't see the movement but would simply notice that one had moved from the bottom of the cup to the top or vice versa.

Eventually,  I asked my sister when hers had changed to chyrsallis. We had purchased the same birthday gift for my niece Emma that year, and they began their experiment a few weeks before us, based on their vacation schedule, etc. She said that the upside down caterpillar would get to be a translucent color and we would definitely be able to tell. One day, I noticed that one of our caterpillars was upside down in that "J" form. Then the color changed from the furry black to a shiny green. I knew the transformation was taking place. The other two didn't change for almost another week. But, eventually they got into that upside form off the lid and started looking dead.

It was an exciting day when we realized our caterpillars were all gone. They had done the work necessary to cocoon themselves for the next stage of life. I read the instructions, and Shawn helped me carefully take the lid off the container and slip off the small piece of paper the cocoons were on. We pinned it to the side of our butterfly cage about an inch or two from the bottom, just as the instructions told us to. I was terrified one of them might fall off the paper in the process, but it didn't! All went smoothly and we would go and check our cage then every morning to note changes.

But, day after day, there was NOTHING changing. The boys weren't all that impressed. Neither was I. We kept waiting and checking, checking and waiting, and there was a whole lot of nothing going on. While the original chrysallis looked like a cool translucent green, these things simply looked like death to us. In fact, I remembered reading a girlfriend's post on her blog about a butterfly experiment that the caterpillars do indeed die to become butterflies. I remembered crying at the thought of us having to die to become who God intended us to be. So, I looked at these dead things hanging in their cage, and I assumed that they weren't going to transform into things of beauty. In fact, I made a note to myself to call the company the following day to complain. Maybe we could try again...

But, the following day I didn't get to call before I was prepping a meal and noticed that lo and behold there was one single butterfly that had emerged!!!! Shawn told Caleb to come check the cage, and I blurted out "THERE'S A BUTTERFLY!" Whoops! The boys (who I think had almost given up hope just like their Mama) were THRILLED!!!

The butterflies require feeding - you put a teaspoon of sugar water (the exact measurement of which they give you but is escaping my memory at the time) onto flowers and stick it in their cage. We had stuck a napkin in their to soak up some of the red dye that "bleeds" off their wings. It's really not blood but paint from their beautiful wings that pours off them. Shawn went out that night at my request and bought a beautiful mum so we could clip off flowers and put on fresh dew each day for the butterflies to eat.

The next morning I came down, and the one single butterfly was on the bottom of the cage, not moving. Oh no, I thought, we killed it! I wondered if our house was too cold or if we hadn't put enough sugar water in for it. I was sad... I had been so excited that God would allow us to see this transformation happen, only for it not to live even a full 24 hours. I sighed in disbelief. BUT, when I came home from class that night, the butterfly was flying around the cage and as alive as could be. As I told Shawn my fears from the morning, he firmly told me, PATIENCE! If I hadn't learned my lesson from the first time when I thought the butterfly would never come forth, I was to learn it again. The butterfly was resting and I thought it was gone.

Not only that, but its brothers (I'm assuming they are all boys since that's all we have in our household) joined it within a day or so. All three butterflies would fly around at dinner time, but they were pretty docile during the day. Many mornings they weren't flying at all, and I think they were probably just resting. But, the kids would squeal with delight when we watched them fly all around in the evening.

They weren't the easiest things to photograph, but you get the idea. The lifespan of these beautiful creatures is only four weeks. The instructions said that you could ideally free the butterflies IF the temperature would remain above 55 degrees. Unfortunately, the night time temps were starting to dip below that by the time we hatched ours, so we decided to keep them and feed them each day. We went from having no pets to three butterflies and two goldfish (neither of which have a long lifespan expectancy).

I was so moved by the butterfly experiment that I blogged about it elsewhere and decided to include it here. It's a lengthy read, but worthwhile if you have the time to do so.

Tired of Waiting?

“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9
The first weekend in October, we were excited to get the mail and discover that we had received the caterpillars we had ordered! We put the cup with them in the kitchen where we could see them but the boys couldn’t disturb them. Each morning when we came downstairs, we would watch as they would eat and move, basically getting fatter and lazier (it seemed). The boys loved to watch them and “check the caterpillars” and would make observations. Eventually they hung upside down in their J-shape and formed the chrysalises. When we were sure that they were in their cocoon, my husband & I followed the instructions that came with them carefully, removing and pinning the small paper that they were attached to into the butterfly habitat we had purchased.

But then NOTHING. Each day the boys & I would go down to the kitchen eager to see what was happening only to be greeted by the same nothingness. I finally made a mental note to call the company to complain because I assumed that the transformation was never going to happen. Our caterpillars were dead (they have to die, I remember reading, to transform into butterflies) and nothing else was happening.

Then two days ago, we saw it… one beautiful butterfly was in our precious cage. This morning, the other two emerged. And it struck me that sometimes I’m impatient when God is making an incredible transformation. I assumed incorrectly that nothing was happening “behind the scenes.” I desired to see the beautiful transformation but missed the step of the work that was needed to see the butterfly come to life. We don’t see the work; it happens in the cocoon.

I’m hoping you see the parallels in your own life, like I did in mine. I was struck that we need to wait at times for the Lord’s perfect plan. We need to put our hope and trust in Him, and then we need to be patient.

I also remembered a story I had read about my friend’s butterfly experiment a long time ago. At the time I read it, I was severely overweight and feeling VERY hopeless. And I bawled at reading that the caterpillar had to die (I mean literal tears flowing from my cheeks!). Why, God, I asked…why do I have to die for something beautiful to happen? I felt His amazing presence remind me to die to myself and allow Him to transform me. It’s not an easy process, but it’s a worthwhile one. Are we willing to wait on Him and His plan? Will we trust Him to renew our strength?

Because I was so touched by my friend’s story, I had to put excerpts from it below. The author of it agreed to let me share it, and I cut some portions out, so we pick up near the middle, but it is a great way to explain what happens to these ‘ugly’ caterpillars as they become what God has destined them to be:

As we came down stairs for our breakfast, an amazing act of God was occurring right before our eyes. Our caterpillar was turning into his cocoon. We knew the time was approaching, because the night before he had gone to the top of the jar and hung upside down in a J-formation. His body dangled downward, while his face pointed upward.

As he went into his cocoon, he shook and shed his skin. The skin moved in an upward position and was–as if by “magic”–transformed into the chrysalis. When the skin reached the top, the caterpillar thrashed his body–now completely enveloped in the cocoon–back and forth, circling around so that his skin would become the very thing that created an anchor for him to hold securely to the top of the jar. And then everything went calm. No more movement. And, at that moment, I knew that our baby was gone. Did you know the caterpillar actually dies? I didn’t know that, until we began our butterfly lessons. He dies. There are only cells that live to create that pretty butterfly. We will not see him again.

I found the whole experience to be both amazing and disturbing. I watched this creature that I had taken care of from birth just willingly pass before my eyes. He knew that better things were ahead of him, that he would soon reach his full (his best) potential. He worked hard for his death. He approached it with eagerness. And to think…he started his death in the shape of a J (for Jesus?), making sure that his face pointed upward. God’s creations really were created to give Him glory…weren’t they?

Then we were greeted with a beautiful Monarch Butterfly, opening and closing his intricate wings. He was BEAUTIFUL! I nearly got tears in my eyes when I saw him.

This butterfly experience was profound for me. I feel like I am living his story, in my own spiritual way. I can relate to the “good life” of sitting around, not being at my full potential, just eating, sleeping and…well…going to the bathroom. For me, life had somehow been boiled down to food. What would I eat next? When could I eat it? Could someone just put me on a pile of food, and leave me alone? And…unlike the monarch caterpillar who would rather starve than eat a leaf he doesn’t like…I would eat anything that crossed my path. I doubled in size in a short amount of time. And I just kept eating.

But, when I confessed my sin and genuinely began to repent and seek God…I started hanging upside down in a J position as if to say “JESUS! Everything about this change starts by pointing my face toward you!” I can’t imagine it’s easy for a caterpillar to hang in the J position for 24 hours. I mean, in caterpillar-years, that’s about 1/8 of their life spent in this position. All this to say, the J position is part of the process, and probably takes far longer than any of us would like it to take. But it is critical to remain low, while facing upward. No matter how long it takes.

And then there’s the wretched process of shedding the skin…the putting off of the old self. The wiggling and writhing and contorting that occurs. It definitely appears to be a painful process. But it is a miracle, really. And nothing less. When you see it happening, it does appear to be “magic”; however, we know that there is nothing magical about it. It is purposeful–because God purposed it through Christ.

Then, the swirling and whirling that must occur in order to secure ourselves to the only “hook” (or anchor) that can hold us where we need to be. Do you know how small that caterpillar hook is? So small. But is is STRONG. It supports the weight of the entire process of metamorphosis that occurs. It withstands wind gusts and weather changes. It is small, but mighty. And it is critical. Without that hook, the entire process would end. If the cocoon isn’t hanging, the butterfly will never hatch. The process is lost. My hook is Christ. The God who knit me and formed me, striped me down to nothing and then holds me secure. And I wait…

I die. And I wait. I die. But He lives. And I am transformed. The new self will look nothing like the old. But it will take awhile. Perhaps longer than the caterpillar ever lived. But it is peaceful. And change is happening.

I think I am now going safely into my cocoon. It has been a few years of hanging low while facing upward; then beginning the painful process of dying. But now I am beginning to sense the silence. I can feel the urgent need to hide away for a time, enveloped in the protection that only God could have created for me. I sense how still I will need to be for this change to occur. This phase could seem long…but change is happening.

It isn’t easy to become a butterfly. But it also isn’t hard. It means dying…then resting…and ultimately trusting. Trusting Christ for the final change to come.
And the change is coming.
I’M GOING TO FLY!

If you’re tired of waiting, hold on…remember God is not slow as we think of slowness. He keeps His promises, He is faithful and He knows the perfect timing. As the above verse reminds us, He wants everyone (including us in our selfish sin) to come to repentance. When we do, we begin to see the transformation that only He can do within our lives, as we die to our own selfish desires and He works in the background to make us into a new beautiful creature that far surpasses anything we could become on our own. Patience, my husband reminded me as I was irritated that no butterflies were emerging from the cocoons. We need to have faith instead of fear, worship instead of worry, and peace instead of impatience. Do we believe God to be trustworthy? Do we believe He can transform our lives? Then, let’s live like it!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the reminder you give us in the caterpillar to butterfly process. Only You could have created something so meaningful and so wonderful to watch. Please help us not grow impatient in the process. Remind us that change is happening, even when we can’t “see” it. Help us feel Your presence and trust you. Our hope is in You…may we die to ourself, repent of our sin and wait patiently on You. And God, we humbly ask to see this beauty emerge from our lives. Make us the best us we can be – the person You had in mind when You created us. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!